It only took one lie to destroy my relationship with anyone. Once I right-handedly caught a person lying to me everything is just broken after that. I lost the one thing that is most precious to me, TRUST.
What happen after loosing trust on someone is just horrible. I get suspicious, curious, nervous, tired, angry, more alert and above all, loosing sleeps. I have been down this road before and so far no one ever managed to keep my trust on them. After the first one, I realized everyone until the fifth persons; they are all a bunch of lying sack of shits and have no respects for me except for themselves. What an asshole!
I am so tired of being the one to keep asking these people to correct themselves and to respect me and still with all the words and talks that came out of my mouth all these times; they are just noise that bounce back to me on a concrete wall.
What am I, a piece of meat? Where have all your mannerism, respects and honesty been gone? Is there anymore a speck of decency in any relationship anymore?
Am I asking for the sky and the moon out of you? I don’t think so! But why is it so damn difficult for you to even live an honest life and honor my request?
I am so tired with people and their lies. I am so tired to look at the same people who put on fake smiles and insincere gestures just to make them feel better reaping the benefits of living from me.
Don’t they know that I suffer sweats and blood to keep a living here? That I have to sacrifice so much out of me to provide comfort for you to live? And yet the nerve you have to lie, then to tell another lie to cover a lie and then asking for more as if you need a reward for being such a great liar.
Do I need to be a saint and forgive people when they are bad and reward people when they are good to me? Or should I be a devil from hell and burn their asses to a charcoal when I caught them being bad and no second chance awarded?
Why everything is good has to end like shit? When should I start telling myself, ohh this is just another phase, its ok! Or should I just walk away out of this one? Or retaliate?
But one thing for sure, I am no devil. And I cannot act like a saint anymore either. But I am sure Allah will help me in this one just like every other shits I ran into before.
