Recently I felt like my life almost came to an end with my friends because of the decisions I made. At some point in my friendship with people, I made it clear that I do not like to mix my old friends with my new ones. Somehow there are no clear lines to draw the limit and it’s kind of hard to explain.
Well, to shorten a lengthy drama, I got pissed and jealous of my long time girl friends ATB, MTB and MKW who befriended with my new guy friend. I have made it very clear clear to my guy friend that I do not like for him befriended with my 3 girl friends and sort of asked him to let them go indirectly and subtly. But he did anyway, sneaky and unfaithful.
Somehow, my request to ask my guy friend to leave my girl friends were not important enough to him and I discovered that they have been exchanging phone numbers and have been communicating via SMS everyday.
The day I found out that MKW has been so frequently SMS’ing my guy friend behind my back, I confronted all three of them that very same evening and asked them why they suddenly became so close to him? I was pretty much so disappointed, sad and pissed to the point that I told them to choose between my guy friend and me.
Well, 2 of them were shocked of my action, but MKW was so GLADLY to delete her Facebook account and just quickly ignored me. She didn’t even try to ask why I did such a drastic action towards her or three of them. As if she was guilty of being sneaky behind my back and accepted her punishment. As if I am not worthy of anything to her! As if the mistake I made is bigger than a murder and therefore she has to punish me to a lifetime of isolation.
As a human being I am bound to make mistake and hurt other people. I am bound to be emotional and frantic every once and a while when shits happen my way. But as a normal human also, I learned to accept the hard way my own wrong doing and mistakes. And let go of my own ego, thicken my face and swallow that bitter pills.
If my two other girl friends could tell my face that they demanded me to explain and didn’t accept my decision. Why can’t MKW do the same? We have been known each other much longer than the other two. But the weird thing though, I have met the other two in person but I have never met with MKW at all.
Even when she SMS me her picture, it’s always kind of blur and every time she’s in KL, there’s always something that block us from meeting. To some point I felt weird because I realized that she never really tried to meet me. She seemed really care about our friendship but never show strong interest to meet in person. Is there something wrong with me or her?
Normally when this kind of scenario happens I can only think of one thing though, she never really cared for me or our friendship. She is afraid of a commitment and preparing herself to let go of people when she feels like with no remorse. Just look at the way she dumped me. She spoke her peace so quickly so that she can leave me guiltless with no debt or regret. She didn’t answer my SMS or pick up my call.
It was kind of funny though that I was yelled at, cried and forced to speak the truth to the other two friends because they didn’t want to accept no as an answer and try so hard to stop me from leaving them. But by the end of the day, it wasn’t me who burned my bridges with my friends but MKW.
I was told by MTB that MKW felt so angry and disappointed with me. Seemed to me that she found a so called “valid reason” to delete me off her friend list! Seem to me more like her ego that was doing the decision and disguised under a cloak of anger and disappointment towards me.
And off course! She got away with murder when I am being punished for my sin. And to her maybe it’s OK to just discard friends like me that she thought complicate her life, disappoint her or break her heart. But over the course of 3 years we have known each other, we always talked and advised each other when we did wrong.
This time she just took the easy exit and fly away and “innocently” told me “please just pretend like we never known each other before this”. It was that easy and rather cold of her! She never even once tried to ask me why? I felt so worthless and disposable!
To have a friend, one just needed to ask for a name or an SMS will do. To be good friends one must know each other for a long time. But to be best friends forever, one must be with each other through the years of ups and downs of bad and happy times together.
Just remember sometimes even your own blood children would not care for you when you are old, sick, bossy and cranky. They would rather send you to the old folk homes. Adopted children on top of that, well need I say more? They have other relatives too and many restrictions, religiously and legally. Good luck to that!
Just remember that we are all make mistakes and must learn to accept and let go of our big ego head. This time I don’t think it’s all about me after all. It was a test for all of us actually!
Live and learned and it’s never too late to change!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Gulai Rendang Maman dengan Ayam
Gulai Maman dengan Ayam adalah satu masakan kebesaran penduduk di kampung aku, iaitu di Kg Geduk sejak aku masih kecil lagi ketika di sekolah rendah. Tetapi selepas tahun demi tahun, masakan Maman ini menjadi kegemaran penduduk di kawasan Gemenchech secara amnya.
Bukan sahaja Melayu, bahkan kaum Cina juga sangat pandai memasak Gulai rendang maman dengan ayam kampung ini. Ianya adalah suatu masakan yang dinanti-natikan sewaktu makan bersama keluarga di malam terakhir berbuka puasa dan di pagi Raya pertama.
Di hari perayaan seperti di bulan Puasa dan di Hari Raya, ramai pekebun akan menjual sayur maman segar mereka di tepi2tepi jalan raya, dipasar tani dan dipasar Gemenchech.
Maman memerlukan santan segar dan pekat yang banyak. Mengikut sukatan yang diberi oleh kakak aku, seekor ayam + 2 kg maman + 4-6 biji santan pekat. Gulai ini akan berminyak dan pekat seperti rendang. Bahan-bahan nya adalah sgt mudah...Kita cuma memerlukan ayam, maman, santan pekat, kunyit segar, cili padi, asam keping, asam jawa dan garam secukupnya.
Sila lihat cara-cara kakak saya memasak Gulai Rendang Maman dengan Ayam dibawah.
Maman segar yang sudah di kerat, dipilih dan di basuh. Tos kan air basuhan didalam bakul.
Kecutkan ayam bersama kunyit dan cili api yang sudah di lumatkan. Masak sehingga sebati.
Ayam yg sudah kecut dan sebati.
Masukkan Santan pekat ke dalam kuali.
Kacau adunan sehingga mendidih dan ayam masak sepenuhnya bersama santan.
Keluarkan semula ayam tadi kerana masakan ini perlu di teruskan lagi sehingga santan berminyak. Ayam akan menjadi hancur sekiranya di masak berterusan.
Teruskan memasak kuah maman itu tadi sehingga santan berminyak. Hendaklah sentiasa dikacau supaya santan tidak hangus di bahagian bawah nya.
Masukkan Maman dan biarkan maman itu layu sendiri didalam kuali. Jangan kacau buat seketika kerana mengikut petuanya, maman yg dikacau akan menjadi pahit.
Masukkan air asam jawa. Air Asam jawa akan menjadikan gulai maman menjadi lebih perisa. Ramai di kalangan penggemar gulai maman tidak tahu mengenai peranan asam jawa di dalam Gulai Maman. Kebanyakannya tidak akan memasukkan air asam jawa ini.
Maman tadi terus dimasak lagi sehingga terbit minyak dan maman menjadi sebati.
Ayam tadi dimasuk kan semula kedalam kuali dan kacau masakan sehingga sebati dan berminyak.
Maman yang sudah siap dimasak dan sedia untuk hidangan.
Mengikut kata ibu dan nenek aku, gulai maman hendaklah mempunyai minyak santan seperti yang dilihat didalam gambar diatas. Barulah Gulai ini "menjadi". Tentang rasa pula, mesti mempunyai rasa lemak, pedas cili api, rasa masam sedikit dari asam keping & perisa dari air asam jawa.
Kadang-kadang rasa pahit dari Maman masih ada. Pada aku rasa pahit itu membuatkan Gulai maman ini lebih "kick". Tetapi ada segelintir penggemar maman berpendapat, rasa pahit dari maman menunjukkan tukang masaknya belum expert lagi.
Walau apa pun, Gulai Rendang Maman dengan Ayam ini adalah tersangat sedap in the world I tell you. hehehehehe!
Selamat mencuba resepi Ibu aku ini.
Dwen.
Bukan sahaja Melayu, bahkan kaum Cina juga sangat pandai memasak Gulai rendang maman dengan ayam kampung ini. Ianya adalah suatu masakan yang dinanti-natikan sewaktu makan bersama keluarga di malam terakhir berbuka puasa dan di pagi Raya pertama.
Di hari perayaan seperti di bulan Puasa dan di Hari Raya, ramai pekebun akan menjual sayur maman segar mereka di tepi2tepi jalan raya, dipasar tani dan dipasar Gemenchech.
Maman memerlukan santan segar dan pekat yang banyak. Mengikut sukatan yang diberi oleh kakak aku, seekor ayam + 2 kg maman + 4-6 biji santan pekat. Gulai ini akan berminyak dan pekat seperti rendang. Bahan-bahan nya adalah sgt mudah...Kita cuma memerlukan ayam, maman, santan pekat, kunyit segar, cili padi, asam keping, asam jawa dan garam secukupnya.
Sila lihat cara-cara kakak saya memasak Gulai Rendang Maman dengan Ayam dibawah.
Maman segar yang sudah di kerat, dipilih dan di basuh. Tos kan air basuhan didalam bakul.
Kecutkan ayam bersama kunyit dan cili api yang sudah di lumatkan. Masak sehingga sebati.
Ayam yg sudah kecut dan sebati.
Masukkan Santan pekat ke dalam kuali.
Kacau adunan sehingga mendidih dan ayam masak sepenuhnya bersama santan.
Keluarkan semula ayam tadi kerana masakan ini perlu di teruskan lagi sehingga santan berminyak. Ayam akan menjadi hancur sekiranya di masak berterusan.
Teruskan memasak kuah maman itu tadi sehingga santan berminyak. Hendaklah sentiasa dikacau supaya santan tidak hangus di bahagian bawah nya.
Masukkan Maman dan biarkan maman itu layu sendiri didalam kuali. Jangan kacau buat seketika kerana mengikut petuanya, maman yg dikacau akan menjadi pahit.
Masukkan air asam jawa. Air Asam jawa akan menjadikan gulai maman menjadi lebih perisa. Ramai di kalangan penggemar gulai maman tidak tahu mengenai peranan asam jawa di dalam Gulai Maman. Kebanyakannya tidak akan memasukkan air asam jawa ini.
Maman tadi terus dimasak lagi sehingga terbit minyak dan maman menjadi sebati.
Ayam tadi dimasuk kan semula kedalam kuali dan kacau masakan sehingga sebati dan berminyak.
Maman yang sudah siap dimasak dan sedia untuk hidangan. Mengikut kata ibu dan nenek aku, gulai maman hendaklah mempunyai minyak santan seperti yang dilihat didalam gambar diatas. Barulah Gulai ini "menjadi". Tentang rasa pula, mesti mempunyai rasa lemak, pedas cili api, rasa masam sedikit dari asam keping & perisa dari air asam jawa.
Kadang-kadang rasa pahit dari Maman masih ada. Pada aku rasa pahit itu membuatkan Gulai maman ini lebih "kick". Tetapi ada segelintir penggemar maman berpendapat, rasa pahit dari maman menunjukkan tukang masaknya belum expert lagi.
Walau apa pun, Gulai Rendang Maman dengan Ayam ini adalah tersangat sedap in the world I tell you. hehehehehe!
Selamat mencuba resepi Ibu aku ini.
Dwen.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Sepagi di Pasar Tani Gemenchech Aku.
Kak Ni tengah sibuk memilih sayur MAMAN di salah satu gerai.... Maman masak Lemak Rendang Cili Api dengan Ayam kampung is so fuckin delicious. Huhuhu!
Pilih lah yang mana satu....timbunan Maman... Sodap botul sumo ni ha!!!
Kak Ni terserempak dengan Acik Tom...apa lagi terus lar berbual pasal sodaro maro den...Den kek situ amik gambar yo macam wartawan Kosmo....Buek malu yo!
Bahan-bahan lain yang diperlukan untuk memasak Rendang Cili Api Maman ialah Kunyit Segar, Cili Padi dan Serai. Santan pekat yang banyak juga diperlukan...
Balik Kampung di Bulan Puasa
Balik kampung di bulan puasa....dalam perjalanan menaiki Kelisa Adik aku.
Nostalgia....gambar lama sedara mara...
Tangga batu rumah...style lama dengan tiles dari tahun 70an.
Ruang meja makan....
Ruang Tamu rumah aku....Lampu berangkai tu cuma hiasan aje...
Once Upon A Time.......
We hear how families, friends and people we know diagnosed with uncured diseases all the times. The minute we heard the news we became numb and speechless. The magnitude of shock that hit us was just too huge to bear.
Life is never fair to all of us and never promised anything easy. Sometime, a non-smoker, non-alcohol drinker, strict organic food consumer are still end up with the worst bad news ever of sickness from their GP. These fatal diseases came without warning or signs.
The calculation is so way off sometimes and don’t add up at all but still we end up with the same bad luck. Where did we go wrong?
Sometimes we know that our lifestyles already promised us something bad in the later life but never got it. There were many times also where we are punished for the obvious lifestyles that we have such as smoking and cancer, has become so synonym with each other.
Despite the strict warning from the health department, we still smoke cigarettes night and day. Unstoppable, guiltless and fearless!
Promiscuous lifestyle is another disaster in the making for anyone who is not careful. Despite the availability of “rubber” everywhere, we still neglect ourselves for the protection it offered. It only took one mistake to fuck our lives a lifetime with sickness and shame. It’s funny how we would gamble a lifetime of healthy living with a 15 minute of pleasure.
Nothing promises us anything anymore though. If you don’t end up with cancer or HIV or H1N1, we are at high risk with so many other diseases. One might as well choose which disease they prefer to have instead of surprised with one.
We often wish that we woulda, coulda, shoulda when everything is too late. The perfect life that we dreamed of has become a fairy tale that started with once upon a time when we tell.
There’s only one thing we could do though, we must learn to accept our fate and deal with problems as they come and make the best of everything.
Life is too short to be angry to ourselves, other people or God all the times.
Life is never fair to all of us and never promised anything easy. Sometime, a non-smoker, non-alcohol drinker, strict organic food consumer are still end up with the worst bad news ever of sickness from their GP. These fatal diseases came without warning or signs.
The calculation is so way off sometimes and don’t add up at all but still we end up with the same bad luck. Where did we go wrong?
Sometimes we know that our lifestyles already promised us something bad in the later life but never got it. There were many times also where we are punished for the obvious lifestyles that we have such as smoking and cancer, has become so synonym with each other.
Despite the strict warning from the health department, we still smoke cigarettes night and day. Unstoppable, guiltless and fearless!
Promiscuous lifestyle is another disaster in the making for anyone who is not careful. Despite the availability of “rubber” everywhere, we still neglect ourselves for the protection it offered. It only took one mistake to fuck our lives a lifetime with sickness and shame. It’s funny how we would gamble a lifetime of healthy living with a 15 minute of pleasure.
Nothing promises us anything anymore though. If you don’t end up with cancer or HIV or H1N1, we are at high risk with so many other diseases. One might as well choose which disease they prefer to have instead of surprised with one.
We often wish that we woulda, coulda, shoulda when everything is too late. The perfect life that we dreamed of has become a fairy tale that started with once upon a time when we tell.
There’s only one thing we could do though, we must learn to accept our fate and deal with problems as they come and make the best of everything.
Life is too short to be angry to ourselves, other people or God all the times.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I Gave Up!
There are certain things and issues in my life right now that I am not willing to deal with, share or fight for. I just felt that these complicated life issues are just too petty to be given a fight.
It urkks me when a friend started to compare what I did for other friend and what I did less for him. And then started to nit picked me on issues that are way passed his bed time. I am too old for all these and once or twice in my life when I was young I already had dealt with all these.
For a guy in the late thirties, I just don’t have the patient to deal with early twenty-something people who think they know about life and friendship and thought that he is more well verse than a person 10 years older than him. So for me to fight about whose friend should do what and so forth, this is just the kind of issue that I would just let go. Not worth my time to even think it.
So, today I deleted some 18 people of common friends on my Facebook that I share with a friend because I do not need another headache from him asking why this and why that. I gave up interrogation over peace anytime!
I feel so sorry to these people!
These people I have deleted are definitely worth a friendship for but I’ve decided that from now on, I am not going to share my friends anymore. Nor I will join any social gathering with his friends either. I will be strict about all these!
I will keep myself to myself. I will be myself and ask what I want most for my happiness. I will be less forgiving and less pleasing. The more I give, the more it will be less enough. Ultimately, it all became bird shit that fell on my head!
And if my happiness is in jeopardy, I will drastically decide what’s best for me and I will gave it all up and fly.
I am not afraid to fly!
It urkks me when a friend started to compare what I did for other friend and what I did less for him. And then started to nit picked me on issues that are way passed his bed time. I am too old for all these and once or twice in my life when I was young I already had dealt with all these.
For a guy in the late thirties, I just don’t have the patient to deal with early twenty-something people who think they know about life and friendship and thought that he is more well verse than a person 10 years older than him. So for me to fight about whose friend should do what and so forth, this is just the kind of issue that I would just let go. Not worth my time to even think it.
So, today I deleted some 18 people of common friends on my Facebook that I share with a friend because I do not need another headache from him asking why this and why that. I gave up interrogation over peace anytime!
I feel so sorry to these people!
These people I have deleted are definitely worth a friendship for but I’ve decided that from now on, I am not going to share my friends anymore. Nor I will join any social gathering with his friends either. I will be strict about all these!
I will keep myself to myself. I will be myself and ask what I want most for my happiness. I will be less forgiving and less pleasing. The more I give, the more it will be less enough. Ultimately, it all became bird shit that fell on my head!
And if my happiness is in jeopardy, I will drastically decide what’s best for me and I will gave it all up and fly.
I am not afraid to fly!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Global Warming Of My Life
There have been so many shits I went through all these years. And one thing that I realized lately is that some things will keep repeating it self. There’s nothing I can do about it because that’s just the way our lives spin in this world.
I have seen broken relationship happens faster than the NOKIA technology evolves. I thought seeing new NOKIA phones keep changing in the store window every fortnight is such a fast development of technology. But I have seen also broken relationship happens faster than that. It’s so sad!
This is not just about me but about others too. I have evolved from (1) being naïve loving person unconditionally like love is blind kind of love, (2) to loving with conditions for survival issues and finally to (3) stay if you love me, hit the road if you don’t.
1. What can I say? I was young, new to life and so naïve of all things. I just went with the flow and lived my life as normal as possible with so much love in my heart that I felt so warm and filled with content each and everyday of my life. Until the true colors came out. The controlling, lying and cheating chapter.
Then I started to let go of myself and learned a thing or two about what is best for me.
2. Then I got to another level of my ozone layer where I managed to compensate a not so good love with surviving a living issue. Vague career path that leads to a misty road of life was just too scary. But at least at that time I had someone who could hold my hand while I was walking in the dark finding my light of sureness. Finally, I arrived to my peaked of my career and opened my eyes to the suckiness of love that I have been endured all the years.
Then I started to brave myself to create my own happy path to life and venture on my own.
3. After living in and out of relationships, I have realized at some point I do need someone in my life. Especially my friends. But to some stage of friendship, friendship love and lover’s love are two different things and brought different feelings to my heart. I needed both loves although I know that lover’s love can damage myself to the core.
In fact, I had been damaged by it several times before. Still I go for more but now with a different frequency and conditions as an insurance for protection.
I have become somewhat complicated but independent. Everything centered in my heart first. Nothing can break the layer of thick armor covering it.
I have evolved myself to another way of life where I could accept when it’s there or just let it go and move on when it’s gone. No more holding on to the past and nothing matters anymore but me.
It is like the melting of the ice cap, the increase of the temperature and the changing of the environment; what I am going through now is just another global warming of my life.
It may break or make me!
I have seen broken relationship happens faster than the NOKIA technology evolves. I thought seeing new NOKIA phones keep changing in the store window every fortnight is such a fast development of technology. But I have seen also broken relationship happens faster than that. It’s so sad!
This is not just about me but about others too. I have evolved from (1) being naïve loving person unconditionally like love is blind kind of love, (2) to loving with conditions for survival issues and finally to (3) stay if you love me, hit the road if you don’t.
1. What can I say? I was young, new to life and so naïve of all things. I just went with the flow and lived my life as normal as possible with so much love in my heart that I felt so warm and filled with content each and everyday of my life. Until the true colors came out. The controlling, lying and cheating chapter.
Then I started to let go of myself and learned a thing or two about what is best for me.
2. Then I got to another level of my ozone layer where I managed to compensate a not so good love with surviving a living issue. Vague career path that leads to a misty road of life was just too scary. But at least at that time I had someone who could hold my hand while I was walking in the dark finding my light of sureness. Finally, I arrived to my peaked of my career and opened my eyes to the suckiness of love that I have been endured all the years.
Then I started to brave myself to create my own happy path to life and venture on my own.
3. After living in and out of relationships, I have realized at some point I do need someone in my life. Especially my friends. But to some stage of friendship, friendship love and lover’s love are two different things and brought different feelings to my heart. I needed both loves although I know that lover’s love can damage myself to the core.
In fact, I had been damaged by it several times before. Still I go for more but now with a different frequency and conditions as an insurance for protection.
I have become somewhat complicated but independent. Everything centered in my heart first. Nothing can break the layer of thick armor covering it.
I have evolved myself to another way of life where I could accept when it’s there or just let it go and move on when it’s gone. No more holding on to the past and nothing matters anymore but me.
It is like the melting of the ice cap, the increase of the temperature and the changing of the environment; what I am going through now is just another global warming of my life.
It may break or make me!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
.........people judge, sabotage, and doing some bad..........
"Dear Blog,
It had been long time since my last story. I don't want to express what i feel thru blog previously coz....i know somehow, it kind of sad to know that some people judged, sabotaj & doing some bad things to us by reading the blog and not trying to understand what actually happened and what actually the writer felt. That's what happened to me past few months ago. The person still reading my blog actually and still keep 'kacau'ing...people 's privacy until today. I hope he/she will understand truely by now..I had suffered enough. And if they still have God beside them, i'm sure they will know what to do or not what to do..inside other people 's blog site."
To the girl that wrote the above quotes….
First of all, yes you are full of DRAMAS. I can label u as a Drama Queen from H… now. But you know that already and you don’t need my confirmation at all.
Ohhh! By the way, yes! People judge! But please don’t flatter yourself. Nobody is sabotaging you with anything. I bet you did it to yourself with stupidity and dramas.
Second of all, if you don’t want people to know about your pathetic little life soap opera, try not to write it in your blog. There will be a lot of people out there reading your blog and I am one of them.
Well, it is kind of fascinating and entertaining to know your drama. But to tell you the truth, we truly felt kind of sorry for you. And we truly hope things work out between the 3 of you. And I did write a blog about you and your best friend titled “Love Is Friendship”. I dedicated that whole blog just for you.
But you probably don’t care or got the wrong meaning about what I am trying to say. Not that it matters to me or you. But since I and my friends has been label so called enemy to you and your friends, everything that we do just seem kind of bad spirited and mean. This is untrue and wrong! You are missing the points!
Thirdly, when you write a blog that means you just made your private life become a public knowledge. You can’t blame or stop people for reading or writing something in relation to your blog.
Commenting and quoting other people’s blog is a common thing in blogging. Blogging is supposed to get people to read, react, think and comment. If you expect nothing of your viewers, then you should write a diary instead. Not a Blog!
Please, don’t talk about how bad is your suffering with all of us. It’s like your suffering is more accountable than my suffering? Where did you get that idea? Some of us learn to control ourselves and learn to survive but unlike some of you who only mope and pointing fingers.
Maybe instead of saying “what can I do?” you should just stand up and do things.
But then again, deep down inside of you, I know you love drama so much because that’s what you are a drama queen craving for attentions.
Sorry babe, I just couldn’t help myself… This is too much fun!
It had been long time since my last story. I don't want to express what i feel thru blog previously coz....i know somehow, it kind of sad to know that some people judged, sabotaj & doing some bad things to us by reading the blog and not trying to understand what actually happened and what actually the writer felt. That's what happened to me past few months ago. The person still reading my blog actually and still keep 'kacau'ing...people 's privacy until today. I hope he/she will understand truely by now..I had suffered enough. And if they still have God beside them, i'm sure they will know what to do or not what to do..inside other people 's blog site."
To the girl that wrote the above quotes….
First of all, yes you are full of DRAMAS. I can label u as a Drama Queen from H… now. But you know that already and you don’t need my confirmation at all.
Ohhh! By the way, yes! People judge! But please don’t flatter yourself. Nobody is sabotaging you with anything. I bet you did it to yourself with stupidity and dramas.
Second of all, if you don’t want people to know about your pathetic little life soap opera, try not to write it in your blog. There will be a lot of people out there reading your blog and I am one of them.
Well, it is kind of fascinating and entertaining to know your drama. But to tell you the truth, we truly felt kind of sorry for you. And we truly hope things work out between the 3 of you. And I did write a blog about you and your best friend titled “Love Is Friendship”. I dedicated that whole blog just for you.
But you probably don’t care or got the wrong meaning about what I am trying to say. Not that it matters to me or you. But since I and my friends has been label so called enemy to you and your friends, everything that we do just seem kind of bad spirited and mean. This is untrue and wrong! You are missing the points!
Thirdly, when you write a blog that means you just made your private life become a public knowledge. You can’t blame or stop people for reading or writing something in relation to your blog.
Commenting and quoting other people’s blog is a common thing in blogging. Blogging is supposed to get people to read, react, think and comment. If you expect nothing of your viewers, then you should write a diary instead. Not a Blog!
Please, don’t talk about how bad is your suffering with all of us. It’s like your suffering is more accountable than my suffering? Where did you get that idea? Some of us learn to control ourselves and learn to survive but unlike some of you who only mope and pointing fingers.
Maybe instead of saying “what can I do?” you should just stand up and do things.
But then again, deep down inside of you, I know you love drama so much because that’s what you are a drama queen craving for attentions.
Sorry babe, I just couldn’t help myself… This is too much fun!
A Day At The Gardens
A day of window shopping with my buddies, Rezal & Lynda was really tiring but fun.
At first I was really in the mood to really shop and buy some gorgeous stuff for myself. But as I walked from one boutique another, from CK to DKNY to Robinson to Isetan and the list went on and on, none of the new collections from these designers caught my eye.
Everything seemed so boring, dull and unattractive. I was literally yawning as I looked at all the clothes.
I ended up just taking pictures of all of us and became just a "shopping-cheer-buddy" for Linda and Rezal. Boy they really shopped I tell you!
I have realized though, I have been doing my shopping alone most of the times and when I went shopping with them, I got a little jealous of Linda and Rezal for have found what they were looking for and I found nothing but boredom.
While I was waiting for Rezal to try on the GAP Jeans, I found a nice spot to snap my photo. SO VAIN!
I started to feel kind of tired and my Kenneth Cole Ankle Boot started to kill my feet. I had to find some corner to lean and rest.
I found another corner inside GAP where it has 2 large mirror facing each other and when I was standing by the side of it, the images of myself repeated continuously. Immediately I forced Lynda to snap my photo. With my direction of how to snap, the second photo by Lynda came out great. I love this photo!
It's time to pay the bill. It cost more than RM 250+. Some expensive jeans I tell you. I am glad Rezal found the right jeans for himself.
As for myself I already have more than 20 pairs of jeans. That is more than enough! I think!!!!! Hmmmm!!!
In my Jeans & Casual Pants Collection:
CALVIN KLEIN - 5 Pairs
GUCCI - 1 pair
VERSACE - 3 Pairs
DOCKERS - 5 Pairs
SEED - 4 Pairs
KENNETH COLE - 1 Pair
ESPRIT - 1 Pair
ZARA - 1 Pair
SAMUEL&KELVIN - 3 Pairs
EMPORIO ARMANI - 1 Pair
ARMANI EXCHANGE - 1 Pair
BENETTON - 1 Pair
Linda & Rezal....tired after kilometers of walking up and down, in and out of boutiques in The Gardens and Mid Valley.
I am looking tired and grouchy!
At first I was really in the mood to really shop and buy some gorgeous stuff for myself. But as I walked from one boutique another, from CK to DKNY to Robinson to Isetan and the list went on and on, none of the new collections from these designers caught my eye.
Everything seemed so boring, dull and unattractive. I was literally yawning as I looked at all the clothes.
I ended up just taking pictures of all of us and became just a "shopping-cheer-buddy" for Linda and Rezal. Boy they really shopped I tell you!
I have realized though, I have been doing my shopping alone most of the times and when I went shopping with them, I got a little jealous of Linda and Rezal for have found what they were looking for and I found nothing but boredom.
While I was waiting for Rezal to try on the GAP Jeans, I found a nice spot to snap my photo. SO VAIN!
I started to feel kind of tired and my Kenneth Cole Ankle Boot started to kill my feet. I had to find some corner to lean and rest.
I found another corner inside GAP where it has 2 large mirror facing each other and when I was standing by the side of it, the images of myself repeated continuously. Immediately I forced Lynda to snap my photo. With my direction of how to snap, the second photo by Lynda came out great. I love this photo!
It's time to pay the bill. It cost more than RM 250+. Some expensive jeans I tell you. I am glad Rezal found the right jeans for himself. As for myself I already have more than 20 pairs of jeans. That is more than enough! I think!!!!! Hmmmm!!!
In my Jeans & Casual Pants Collection:
CALVIN KLEIN - 5 Pairs
GUCCI - 1 pair
VERSACE - 3 Pairs
DOCKERS - 5 Pairs
SEED - 4 Pairs
KENNETH COLE - 1 Pair
ESPRIT - 1 Pair
ZARA - 1 Pair
SAMUEL&KELVIN - 3 Pairs
EMPORIO ARMANI - 1 Pair
ARMANI EXCHANGE - 1 Pair
BENETTON - 1 Pair
Linda & Rezal....tired after kilometers of walking up and down, in and out of boutiques in The Gardens and Mid Valley.
I am looking tired and grouchy!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
FML!
Stands for F my life!
Today I started my day with joy and eagerness. I slept at 11pm last night and woke up for “sahur” at 3am. At 6.20am, I woke up again for shower, solat and went to work at 7am.
By 8.00am, I felt sleepy again and took a 1 hour transit on a couch in my office room until 9am.
Help Fiza, Lynn & Ita cleaned the kitchen and killed hundreds of big smelly cockroaches. The cockroaches literally flying around in front of us and we had to spray them with Bygone for so much that we felt we were spraying ourselves to death as well. FML
At 1pm went to KL.
First stop, NOKIA service center at BGI building across from Berjaya Times Square. I collected my NOKIA 6500 Slide mobile phone at the counter. Guess what! They fixed the wrong thing on my phone. They replaced the battery cover. When I checked the phone, the memory card was still can’t be read. Then I had to buy a new set of battery. I ended up spent RM301. The actual cost should have been RM238.00 only. And I still cannot have back my phone. They have to do more repair work. FML
Second stop, Maybank KL Main and HSBC, AMBank, UOB, RHB and MBB at Lebuh Ampang. Guess what! I was stuck at Berjaya Times Square because of heavy windy rain. I had no umbrella! So all the important chores was postponed! I went to KL for nothing. FML
I got back to my office by 4.00pm. I have to return the car keys to Fiza. I have to use her car to run my chores everyday but going home with my friend on a motorcycle.
My own car is in Chevrolet Service Center in PJ and has to be there for a month.I may not get it back in time before raya. FML
Meanwhile, I am carless as good as broken feet, asking for free rides from anyone! FML
Last stop, going home! Waiting for my friend to come and pick me up with his motorcycle. By now, my energy level already reached critical stage and I am moodless now. I am as good as vegetables!
Now, all I want to do is…..
“Sabarkan diri, rasa menyendiri, aman dan sepi”
“PENAT dengan...........”
“Buat benda yang tak menjadi”
“Menunggu benda yang tak siap”
“Membayar benda yang tak dibaiki”
“Menghabiskan masa dengan benda kosong”
FML, FML, FML
Today I started my day with joy and eagerness. I slept at 11pm last night and woke up for “sahur” at 3am. At 6.20am, I woke up again for shower, solat and went to work at 7am.
By 8.00am, I felt sleepy again and took a 1 hour transit on a couch in my office room until 9am.
Help Fiza, Lynn & Ita cleaned the kitchen and killed hundreds of big smelly cockroaches. The cockroaches literally flying around in front of us and we had to spray them with Bygone for so much that we felt we were spraying ourselves to death as well. FML
At 1pm went to KL.
First stop, NOKIA service center at BGI building across from Berjaya Times Square. I collected my NOKIA 6500 Slide mobile phone at the counter. Guess what! They fixed the wrong thing on my phone. They replaced the battery cover. When I checked the phone, the memory card was still can’t be read. Then I had to buy a new set of battery. I ended up spent RM301. The actual cost should have been RM238.00 only. And I still cannot have back my phone. They have to do more repair work. FML
Second stop, Maybank KL Main and HSBC, AMBank, UOB, RHB and MBB at Lebuh Ampang. Guess what! I was stuck at Berjaya Times Square because of heavy windy rain. I had no umbrella! So all the important chores was postponed! I went to KL for nothing. FML
I got back to my office by 4.00pm. I have to return the car keys to Fiza. I have to use her car to run my chores everyday but going home with my friend on a motorcycle.
My own car is in Chevrolet Service Center in PJ and has to be there for a month.I may not get it back in time before raya. FML
Meanwhile, I am carless as good as broken feet, asking for free rides from anyone! FML
Last stop, going home! Waiting for my friend to come and pick me up with his motorcycle. By now, my energy level already reached critical stage and I am moodless now. I am as good as vegetables!
Now, all I want to do is…..
“Sabarkan diri, rasa menyendiri, aman dan sepi”
“PENAT dengan...........”
“Buat benda yang tak menjadi”
“Menunggu benda yang tak siap”
“Membayar benda yang tak dibaiki”
“Menghabiskan masa dengan benda kosong”
FML, FML, FML
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
My MASTERS DEGREE in Overnight!
It had always been my dream to go back to the university to continue my education. I didn’t know how it all started but I ended up in the UITM Shah Alam in just a blink of an eye.On the first day of my backed-to-school day I decided to go out for a jogging. I didn’t have to get involve with any orientation activities with the undergraduate students because I am a Masters student. I felt so relieved and free of being tortured by senior students doing stupid airhead stuff. So different this time!
Without wasting my time on a fine late afternoon, I walked out of my dorm building and took a scenic view route of the whole campus. I realized how the campus has changed and developed so much since 18 years ago I was there.I was in my white sleeveless t-shirt and Oh-my-God…… I didn’t realize that after I was jogging for about 1 KM, I was wearing a pair of shorts that was shorter than my own boxer. No wonder my feet felt so light and airy. What was wrong with me? Shit!
Have my excitement to jog around campus to breathe the fresh air of the hill side of UITM surrounded by students carrying books, laptops, back packs and T-Rulers clouded my ability to choose a descent conservative leg-covering long jogging pants that bear Adidas on the side?
To run back to my dorm and change would definitely make people notice and make me look stupid. But, I was wearing such a hot pant here. Richard Simmons, the famous aerobic fag-guru from hell would cry with blood tears seeing me wearing such a daring, crying-for-attention statement hot pants. I felt like a star, but in a very very very wrong way!
Arrrkkhhhh!!! What should I do here? I’ve lost my mind already and definitely cannot enjoy the jog and the views anymore. Suddenly felt so self-conscious and afraid to run around in my big-mistake choice of jogging shorts.
Immediately my face felt so numb for having put myself in such stupid situation. I am so gullible and easily distracted. I put a grasp on myself to just keep running with confidents. Then I started seeing boys and girls were looking at me. Worst! They were pointing fingers at me too with giggles and evil eyes. What should I do? I am too far to go back to my dorm. But to keep running around the campus was not near either. Either way I am fucked!
I had to make an executive decision here and decided to make a turn. At least only the same students will see me again when taking the same route back. With confident and poise, I made a turned. After running for about 15 minutes, I realized the whole scenery has changed and the buildings looked unfamiliar.
Eh! Wait a minute! Suddenly I felt like in a Twilight Zone. Extremely confused! Where the fuck is this? So I decided to go into one of the building and thank God there were a reception counter there. I walked up to the counter with embarrassment trying to cover my sexy legs and pushing my short shorts down as it kept riding up my ass.
Then I heard a boy whispered to the girl next to him in that room. “Who does he think he is? Jessica Simpsons?” Ohhhh! The shame I felt of this horrible experienced was beyond my imaginations. This is worse than any nightmare I ever had.
I ran away from that reception counter and walked up the stairs nearby it. Somehow I ended in a huge shower room. The shower room seemed so weird. Seemed very old! There was no one there. There was something eerie about this whole place. I got goose bumps!
I got lost and couldn’t find my way out. God help me!
Then I heard someone screaming at me. I couldn’t figure out what he or she said to me. I started to look for the voice as it seemed like it was talking to me.Even though I just kept walking in circle at my lost of direction I can hear the voice sounded clearer and clearer.
Then the whole mystery made sense…..The voice came from my sister, “Duan bangun, sahur lah!”
Oh my God!!!! I was having a dream!
Fucking A!!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
LOVE is friendship!
People say that life is a series of good and bad choices that we have been making along the journey. With that said and done and put out in a platter in front of us, what’s done is gone. What’s gone is history. What’s history should not repeat itself. And what’s coming can be planned.
Nobody can say what, where or how when it comes to love. There are lots of things to define love and there are many clues and clear open attentions that describe what friendship is supposed to be between two good pals or among many people.
I for one have seen a lot of mess happened between two good friends. I have seen things went really wild and unexpected. I have seen the strongest heart failed and cried to their knees. I have seen many hurtful things stabbed at each other with just words.
I have realized because of love, friendship crumbled. But we failed to recognize that friendship is also love.
Where did it all go wrong? Usually we found out when it’s too late. Open and direct communication is very essential in keeping both sides understand of each other. Sometimes being silence when one expects an answer is the best answer to replace any words. Because silence open up our mind and think without hurting each other with wrong words and misinterpretation.
I have read the blogs of used-to-be-closed someone I know, Miss J and Miss C. Well, I would never expect that a newfound love from a stranger would shake the boat of these two pals. But must I remind them that their boat is not yet capsized but shaken by a strong wave.
Life is full strong waves and one must be ready to paddle when it hits.
One thing that I see in Miss C is she’s such a loyal friend. I see that Miss C always gave her reasoning about life to Miss J in such a subtle and matured way. Never frantic nor havoc! I just hope it would not go too far and mutated to an unfavorable controlling little virus who wants to see her friend lives the certain way only. I doubt that would happen!
But what I see happening is something I don’t want to see happening between my friends and I. I would always want my friends to support me in every way. Sometimes the rule of “my way or the highway” does not apply to everyone. In some cases, people become rebel the minute they see control or change.
However, we as an understanding friends must really understands what more important than anything else. Do not run away from your troubled friends. We just stand beside them until we are needed or until they decided to ask for an opinion, a shoulder to cry on or something bigger, a helping hand.
I don’t really know exactly what happened between Miss J & Miss C, but whatever they are facing it shouldn’t be something that would drag their friendship and love for each other on the chopping block. It’s not worth it!
I heard this word a while back. It sounded something like this…..”do not take for granted the one diamond that we have when we are too busy collecting stones”
Friendship is always something that we fall back when love with new ones failed. Just remember that friendship is a different kind of love that last a lot longer than life itself.
Nobody can say what, where or how when it comes to love. There are lots of things to define love and there are many clues and clear open attentions that describe what friendship is supposed to be between two good pals or among many people.
I for one have seen a lot of mess happened between two good friends. I have seen things went really wild and unexpected. I have seen the strongest heart failed and cried to their knees. I have seen many hurtful things stabbed at each other with just words.
I have realized because of love, friendship crumbled. But we failed to recognize that friendship is also love.
Where did it all go wrong? Usually we found out when it’s too late. Open and direct communication is very essential in keeping both sides understand of each other. Sometimes being silence when one expects an answer is the best answer to replace any words. Because silence open up our mind and think without hurting each other with wrong words and misinterpretation.
I have read the blogs of used-to-be-closed someone I know, Miss J and Miss C. Well, I would never expect that a newfound love from a stranger would shake the boat of these two pals. But must I remind them that their boat is not yet capsized but shaken by a strong wave.
Life is full strong waves and one must be ready to paddle when it hits.
One thing that I see in Miss C is she’s such a loyal friend. I see that Miss C always gave her reasoning about life to Miss J in such a subtle and matured way. Never frantic nor havoc! I just hope it would not go too far and mutated to an unfavorable controlling little virus who wants to see her friend lives the certain way only. I doubt that would happen!
But what I see happening is something I don’t want to see happening between my friends and I. I would always want my friends to support me in every way. Sometimes the rule of “my way or the highway” does not apply to everyone. In some cases, people become rebel the minute they see control or change.
However, we as an understanding friends must really understands what more important than anything else. Do not run away from your troubled friends. We just stand beside them until we are needed or until they decided to ask for an opinion, a shoulder to cry on or something bigger, a helping hand.
I don’t really know exactly what happened between Miss J & Miss C, but whatever they are facing it shouldn’t be something that would drag their friendship and love for each other on the chopping block. It’s not worth it!
I heard this word a while back. It sounded something like this…..”do not take for granted the one diamond that we have when we are too busy collecting stones”
Friendship is always something that we fall back when love with new ones failed. Just remember that friendship is a different kind of love that last a lot longer than life itself.
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