Friends, Lovers, Relationship and Love

For the past almost 12 months in 2009, a lot has happened to me, to my friends and to my friend’s friends and to the people that has stopped calling me friends.

People come and go! Nothing you can do about people who already made up their mind on leaving. Forcing them to stay would be insincere and they will rebel out later. And there’s no need to keep fighting till the last draw to satisfy our principles. Better to just let it flow and let it go. Hopefully someday they will realize that it doesn’t matter who’s wrong or who’s right or who’s leaving who. Time will heal our broken heart and cool us down eventually.

Just remember, the rule of the nature is once a door is closed, a window will be opened. That’s when new people will start to show up too. However, do we need to start collecting new friendships or should we try working harder to fix the broken ones? There’s an expiry date on everything and that includes our friends. It doesn’t matter how many times we can fix our broken trust or broken relationship, we will reach a point when it’s beyond repair altogether. That’s when we should stop and move on.

I am not saying we should give up on someone altogether. It’s just that sometimes it’s best to put that “missing” person in a “Recycle Bin” and let it brew in there for a while so that we can evaluate the situation. At the same time we just put on a big smile and do the daily chores. I am sure the ex will re-appear or cross path with you again in the future.

Someday, when we have decided to move on and fill the vacancy with a new candidate to make our lives happier and filled with joy, one must remember that past is past. Live your life now and plan for tomorrow.

There are times when we accidentally see the photos of our lover’s ex-lover or our enemy, try not to make a big deal out of someone’s past. If the “ex-file” is tucked away deep underneath the bed collecting dust or saved away in some unknown files in the computer, just let it be. Let it go! There’s no need to feel insecure about the history. Unless that ex-file is in a frame hang on the wall or by the bed-side lamp, then you should do something about that.

Past experienced and memories are the valuable things that made who we are today. We learned from mistakes and broken hearts. Every time we failed on something, we cocoon ourselves and emerged as a new person like a butterfly. Beautiful or not, that is not important. But the main thing is we correct ourselves and be more cautious so it won’t repeat again in the future.

I have learnt how to let go of things and to expect less of someone. I have learnt how to do my own things and be happy on my own before I can be happier with someone else.

Friends should have some basic courtesy to tell and communicate fairly with each other. But no one is tied up with another unless you are married. So be free to do your own thing but we must let go of our selfishness and be kind to others. Do not play politics with your friends to advance your agendas. Politic will make sweet friendship turn to sour and complicate lives.

On the other hand, we cannot force people to return our kind favor. Expectation will kill your happiness. You will loose your coolness when the expected is not coming because waiting will only make the time goes bye very slowly. You’ll be exhausted and disappointed. Life is too short to just keep waiting!

Whatever happens sometimes, we must look at things positively and try not to over react. Even the bad ones had a positive side to it. We just have to look at things in a different perspective. That’s all!

We live and we learn!