Should I Adopt A Child?

Today my real dream was put to the test. I have always dreaming of having a child of my own and today a friend of my staff's niece was looking for a home for her 8 months son. She doesn't have a proper home nor could afford another mouth to feed in her difficult life (I supposed) and she wants her son to have a good life. So my staff suggested to me that I should take this child for an adoption.

For all I care, I will never have my own flesh and blood child. It's just not me and I have no intention of getting married either. Whether or not I am straight or gay or whatever is not the issue here. I just have no interest to get married to no one. And maybe my sisters or people close to me wouldn't see me as a fit parent for an orphan child but that is not their decision. They have no right to take away my rights and my luck and give that child to my younger sister just because she is married now and has no child yet.

I can see what they think of me. They just see that a child should grow up with a mother and a father. But with me, there's only me and my cats and occassional friends around me. To raise such an abandoned child should come with a lot of love, a proper home to live, stabilize income to support the living and a whole lot of knowledge to educate the child. If they think that I am not religious enough to raise a child, I have seen a lot less with families that have more than three children and their children can't even recite a Muqaddam. Let alone a Quran!

And I don't see why I need a wife first in order to adopt a child. I saw a lot of broken homes and single parents everywhere. Their marriage just come crumbling down like cookies smash to a wall and yet they survive the living and made it as a successful individuals.

I fit all these good criteria but I feel afraid to take such an important challenge in my life. Should I take such opportunity when it comes knocking on my door again next time? I keep asking myself the same questions over and over many times. And this opportunity was not the first time being offered to me. This is the second time actually.

However, today's deal was already over because some close relative to the mother of the child had adopted him 2 days ago and we just found out about it just now.

On the other side of me I felt relieved because I am not forced to accept such a challenged and if I did turned it down, I would have been so guilty and sad. The truth is I know I could take care a child on my own, by myself but this is all new to me and I feel so afraid to deal with what might come in the future.

I realized that adopting a child is nothing like adopting an expensive cat. But I am sure someday I will be ready for such a difficult task. I am sure if there's a "Rezeki dari Allah" in the future, I am sure Allah will show me the right step of what should I do or take. Maybe now is not the time yet. I am sure Allah has other plans for me.

Insyaallah!

Amin!!!!!!