HOME. . . . . .Where Are You?

Suddenly I felt like I want to make a quick pit stop at my blog today.
Dear Blog…..Funny that I have never used this expression before. But now seems kind of appropriate for me to pour my heart out to my blog because this is the only true thing that listens and never complaints back at me.

Just last night the owner of my apartment came home for good and living back in his own apartment. Before this he was working overseas. Somehow or rather I already felt that things will come to an end for me to live in His apartment. I have been living there for the past 4 years or more by myself with occasional visits from him every time he gets the chance to come back for a holiday.

And just recently I started bring back my cats home to clean them up and sometimes to accompany me for the weekend or for the whole week. The cats seemed to enjoy this occasional trip back home before I brought them back to the office, which is their permanent home.

A few weeks before this, I already sent back my cats back to the office and cleaned up the apartment. Vacuuming, dusting, rearranging and mopping the whole place. But I still left Castie (3 months old) in a cage at home. Whenever I am home, I will release Castie from his cage to play around with me. She has this habit of following me around the house. She thinks I am her mother as I have been feeding her milk with a bottle since she was a tiny little baby. I enjoy having her around when I am home. She annoys me sometimes with her noisy whine, but I know that we love each other so much. It felt really nice when a tiny little soul like Castie depending her life on me unconditionally.

I always keep her cage clean especially last night, when He is home. And guess what? After a few hours at home He complained that the cage is smelly and suggested that I moved it upstairs. To my standard, and I am not having stuffy nose with a flu right now, I know that cage was acceptably clean and odor free. Suddenly, I was knocked out of my comfort zone and realized what a particular and picky person He could be. Quickly I responded to Him that I would put Castie in my office as she is strong enough to be independent now.

I felt sad for Castie and I felt sad for myself too. But my hands are tied. This may lead to something bigger in the near future. Now I want to live in my own place to do whatever I want with it and nobody gonna say nothing about it.

FREEDOM is the word. I don’t think I will be happy living in a place with Him watching my every move and telling me what to do. To me a home should be practical and not like a freakin’ show room where you have to keep everything squeaky clean, dust-free 24-7 and decorated with fake plastic plants. A place with no soul no life, like a hotel room where everybody comes and goes and nothing stays.

I will go. . . . . .

Support Malaysian Movie!. . . . . . . . .Should I?

Last Saturday I went to Alamanda Shopping Mall at Putrajaya for my weekly ritual Retail Therapy and R&R. Among other shops that I walked into was this local franchise Music & DVD Retail shop on the Lower Ground Floor. I buy Movie DVDs all the times and I just couldn’t resist to just ignore this shop whenever I see one.

In just 30 minutes I already ended up with 4 DVDs in my hand; JAWS-Special Edition, Aquamarine, Coco Avant Chanel and Talentime. I have been meaning to buy Talentime for a long time because I didn’t get the chance to watch that movie in the cinema. The review about Talentime movie was very interesting and good. Arwah Yasmin Ahmad was well known for putting together interracial issues of Malaysia, the cultures and the religions in one movie. And I have seen her previous movies such as Sepet, Gubra, Mukhsin and Muallaf in the cinemas and own the DVDs as well. And so I was so excited to watch this movie in my living room.

Quarter ways down the movie, then I started to realized that I cannot understand a damn thing of what the Indian family in this movie was talking about. I started looking for the Subtitle button on my Pioneer remote control. I checked and checked many times in different ways if I have missed any button or anything that make the subtitle gone missing. Then I realized for real that this movie has no subtitle provided. And it’s a DVD for God sake!

I kept thinking that it would be a real shame if this movie does not provide subtitles. Finally I read on the back cover of the DVD and it doesn’t say anywhere that this movie has subtitles. But it’s written there that the language was Bahasa Malaysia. Even this they cannot get it right! Through out the movie, 3 languages were spoken through; Bahasa Malaysia, English and Tamil. Not just Bahasa Malaysia language. WHY CAN’T THEY GET THIS RIGHT?

It’s a real shame to this movie! Rather than I get annoyed guessing what the Indian Family was chatting about through out the movie, I decided to press the STOP button on my remote control and replaced Talentime DVD with COCO Avant Chanel Movie.

I was shocked and deeply disappointed with this unfortunate issue. Then again I told to myself, this is a very typical problem of Malaysian products in general. There’s always something stupid that would come out from it. It was half way done and I cannot believe that no one from the production of Talentime even care to put the subtitles. This is so sad!

Very little Malaysian speaks Tamil and to convey such beautiful message about how different cultures and religion in Malaysia lives through this movie without subtitles is one STUPID and LAZY move. I don’t think it was that hard to come out with the subtitles as the cinema version already had subtitles. Even the counterfeit DVDs that they sell at Pasar Malam have subtitles. Although most of the times it wasn’t a perfect translation but still they took all the effort to put subtitles anyway in those RM5 Hollywood Movies.

I was very disappointed with this “halfassed” production. Never again I buy a Malaysian Movie that is done to rip me off like this. It’s not about the money. Telentime DVD only cost me RM 19.90 and I buy DVDs that cost RM 59.90 all the times. But the one thing that I expect from a DVD is to have beautiful flawless pictures, a decent good sound, subtitles and maybe some bonus features. That’s all!

I mean, not only they didn’t put subtitles for us to understand the Tamil Language conversations, there were no special features what so ever on top of that. So why should I even bother to buy Malaysian Movie next time? This movie wasn’t that great, but I wanted to support Malaysian Products so every once and a while when I came across an OK Malay Movies, I buy them because I want them to grow and make money for their hard work and make a better productions next time.

But I guess, I better to just stick to Hollywood or foreign movies that has multi-language subtitles and even put a little extra bonus features in the DVD version.

So don’t come complain to me asking why I didn’t support Malay Movies. I did but I got disappointed for one too many!

NEVER Trust Anyone: The Story Of How I Lost My Cat Named Snow

There are numerous occasions that I just forget to be critical of the people that came through to me. I let myself trust these people and I thought that would be good. But a lot of times when I gave these people the one thing that is most important in a friendship, trust! I ended up with a big lost on my hand.

Sometimes in the early December 2009, my friend Sam called and messaged me in my Facebook telling me that his friend named Adam interested to mate his female Black-colored Persian cat named Darla with my White Persian named Snow.

I often put the photos of my 4 cats in Facebook as they are my life and joy. This is how people see how adorable they are. I have been keeping them closer than a family for years and years. Snow is a four year old cat, was born on the 20th January 2006 from a Tortoise-colored Persian name Putri. However Snow did not inherit the color of Putri’s fur, instead he is white as a snow just like his father, a cat that belongs to my neighbor at our previous home at Lavender Heights, Seremban.

Among Snow’s siblings, Snow is the oldest and possessed such a long fur and a tough bone structure. Compared to a normal cat, Snow is quite huge in size.

However, one working day, Sam and Adam came to my office to get Snow back to Adam’s apartment to be living temporarily with Darla, hoping that Darla would get pregnant by Snow. Initially, Adam said that he could just come and take Snow and would not bother me with anything. I thought that idea was quite weird because Adam offered me no invitation to his apartment. So I told him straight that I would be so uncomfortable to just let him take Snow and not knowing where he’s taking him. Just to be safe, I thought!

So I followed Adam and Sam back to Adam’s apartment to see where he lives and so forth. Thinking that should there be any problem later, at least I know now where Adam lives and I could just take Snow back. I thought that should be secure enough for my doubt and skeptical about this whole arrangement.

On the 3rd week of Snow living at Adam’s, I decided to pick him back home. So I SMS Adam and told him my intention. A few days after that on the 30th of December, Adam called me right after 2 pm, told me that Snow is missing from his apartment and feared dead.

He said that his friends wanted to come and see the cats and realized that Snow was not in the room and that the balcony sliding door was slightly opened. With such shocking news from Adam, I called Sam and told him about the situation. I was hoping that I would get some kind of help and protection from Sam. But I told Sam not to come instead. When I got to the lobby front entrance of Adam’s apartment, he was waiting there with his four friends (a girl and 3 guys). I thought to myself, why would his friends be there? Then he explained that his friends were there to help him looked for Snow. Yeah! Whatever! And so I thought to myself!

So we went around the parking lot and concluded that if Snow jumped off from the balcony, he wouldn’t be dead or injured at all as the balcony is only 7 feet high and there are grass and bushes of plants right under the balcony.

Adam said that Bangladeshi’s Security guy said to have seen a huge white cat with blood gushing out from his mouth, dying by the parking lot early that morning. And by around 10am, he said the cleaning lady already cleared the dead cat and threw it in the trash can. By 11am, the trash truck came picked up all the garbage. No trace of Snow ever and all Adam had to prove was this questionable stain of blood which was already dried up and almost clean from the floor behind the parking lot. There is no gushing-blood stain any where. Only trails of stains that could be blood or could be spits of Sirih because the cleaning ladies were Indians.

After searching for nothing in the parking lot, I went to Darla’s room. Adam said when Darla gave birth to kittens later, he will give me two of them to me. I said that would be in the uncertain future and I don’t care for the kittens. I care a lot more for Snow than anything else. I was thinking that if Adam stole Snow from me, would he have the integrity to give me the kittens? I didn’t think so!

I started to feel really sad as I see no evident of dead Snow. My gut instinct told me that Snow is still alive and he could be living in someone else’s living room now. Even to this day, I still feel that Snow was stolen from me and not dead.

After the incident, I realized that Adam offered me no consolation, neither courtesy call nor SMS to comfort for my lost or to apologize for his negligence. Right after I left, he completely shut me out. No communication at all. Based on these facts and after telling numerous cat owners and animal lover, they were all agreed on one thing, Adam is a cat thief! They said that Adam has grown fonder of Snow and couldn’t let him go. So he faked a death, but he has no strong proved of Snow’s Death what so ever. I figured he was afraid that I would take Darla in replacement for my missing Snow, so he brought his “support group” to be around us when we looked for Snow.

The whole thing was really suspicious! Somehow I knew from the start that there was something not right with Adam’s character. And he knew damn well that the sliding door inside Darla’s room cannot be opened when Snow was there because I made it very clear to him about this. But he turned around and made this as the point of reason of how Snow got out from the room. He said his “housemate” opened the sliding door and he didn’t realize it. Frankly, I don’t think his “housemate” was that stupid! Frankly I was the fool for not being able to do anything for Snow.

After a very long while, finally last night Adam MMS me a photo of a dead cat. In the MMS Adam wrote, “Ths pic baby Darla, but sory dh mati. So sad”. 2nd SMS “Sekor..warna htam tu. I rasa tkilan dn sdih..darla x pandai jaga anak”. 3rd SMS “Ari khamis ari tu, I nk beritahu u tapi I krusus”. Last SMS “X..Housemate I ada kat rmh..I blik kg trus..smlm bru blik..dpt mms anak dia? I hanyutkan body kt sg tmpt cat I yg mati”

I sent Adam one last SMS after his 4th SMS, “Hmm! OK lah tu. I think I yg really should be sad n angry in this whole ordeal. Ikutkan rule, u yg kena letak Darla kat tempat I to get pregnant. Tp sekarang kucing I hilang n anak dia pun u x bleh bg kat I pun. Tgk pun x de. You still got Darla n probably more and I end up with nothg. I don’t see u try to comfort me or offer anything for your negligent. Not even sms saying sorry pun x pernah. No coutesy to me whatsoever. But u know what, x pelah Adam. I pun x kenal u lansung. Tulah kesilapan besar I.”

Adam didn’t reply to my last SMS. I also forwarded a copy to Sam. Sam replied this SMS to my Facebook.

Well, after this incident, I have learnt a great deal of lesson. Never ever to trust anyone, not even a friend, let alone a friend to a friend. I thought that if Sam introduced his friend Adam to me, Adam must be a good person. This is a given fact because I trusted Sam. I have no reason to be suspicious of a friend. And Sam would make a good reference to anyone.

Well I thought WRONG. I was so wrong about this whole thing. I lost something valuable because I thought someone would be honoring back my sincerity and honesty to them. I was a FOOL!

To Snow, I am so sorry for letting this happened to you right under my nose. Where ever you are my darling, dead or alive, I believe in Karma of life.

To Adam Kamaruddin, just remember that what goes around comes around!

Friends, Lovers, Relationship and Love

For the past almost 12 months in 2009, a lot has happened to me, to my friends and to my friend’s friends and to the people that has stopped calling me friends.

People come and go! Nothing you can do about people who already made up their mind on leaving. Forcing them to stay would be insincere and they will rebel out later. And there’s no need to keep fighting till the last draw to satisfy our principles. Better to just let it flow and let it go. Hopefully someday they will realize that it doesn’t matter who’s wrong or who’s right or who’s leaving who. Time will heal our broken heart and cool us down eventually.

Just remember, the rule of the nature is once a door is closed, a window will be opened. That’s when new people will start to show up too. However, do we need to start collecting new friendships or should we try working harder to fix the broken ones? There’s an expiry date on everything and that includes our friends. It doesn’t matter how many times we can fix our broken trust or broken relationship, we will reach a point when it’s beyond repair altogether. That’s when we should stop and move on.

I am not saying we should give up on someone altogether. It’s just that sometimes it’s best to put that “missing” person in a “Recycle Bin” and let it brew in there for a while so that we can evaluate the situation. At the same time we just put on a big smile and do the daily chores. I am sure the ex will re-appear or cross path with you again in the future.

Someday, when we have decided to move on and fill the vacancy with a new candidate to make our lives happier and filled with joy, one must remember that past is past. Live your life now and plan for tomorrow.

There are times when we accidentally see the photos of our lover’s ex-lover or our enemy, try not to make a big deal out of someone’s past. If the “ex-file” is tucked away deep underneath the bed collecting dust or saved away in some unknown files in the computer, just let it be. Let it go! There’s no need to feel insecure about the history. Unless that ex-file is in a frame hang on the wall or by the bed-side lamp, then you should do something about that.

Past experienced and memories are the valuable things that made who we are today. We learned from mistakes and broken hearts. Every time we failed on something, we cocoon ourselves and emerged as a new person like a butterfly. Beautiful or not, that is not important. But the main thing is we correct ourselves and be more cautious so it won’t repeat again in the future.

I have learnt how to let go of things and to expect less of someone. I have learnt how to do my own things and be happy on my own before I can be happier with someone else.

Friends should have some basic courtesy to tell and communicate fairly with each other. But no one is tied up with another unless you are married. So be free to do your own thing but we must let go of our selfishness and be kind to others. Do not play politics with your friends to advance your agendas. Politic will make sweet friendship turn to sour and complicate lives.

On the other hand, we cannot force people to return our kind favor. Expectation will kill your happiness. You will loose your coolness when the expected is not coming because waiting will only make the time goes bye very slowly. You’ll be exhausted and disappointed. Life is too short to just keep waiting!

Whatever happens sometimes, we must look at things positively and try not to over react. Even the bad ones had a positive side to it. We just have to look at things in a different perspective. That’s all!

We live and we learn!

My Rooftop Garden

The apartment that I am living now is actually a Penthouse. The upper floor is an open air private roof top that I can put all my plants there. The rooftop can be so hot at times and I have to make sure that I water the plants once a day if there's no rain.

A view of the sky. So Blue so beautiful with white marsh-mallow clouds.




Recently I bought an organic chicken shit fertilizer at a nursery inside Pasar Borong Selangor that I can put on all the plants. The fertilizer works wonderfully as I could see all my dying plants are growing back nicely.

Whenever my White Phalaenopsis is flowering, it will be placed inside my living room as a decoration. The flower normally will last almost a month



On my balcony, I put a pot of Ginger and Anthurium.





On the right is a Hawaiian fern known as Laua'e Fern in Hawaii. It is quite a popular plant that everyone grows and being used a lot in making Leis in Hawaii. In the middle of the picture is some of different colored Ti Leaf plant/Jenjuang/Cordyline Terminalis. On the left are my new Kedah Gardenia and Crape Jasmine.
This Anthurium was originally bought by my mother in Singapore in the 70's. She has been growing this Anthurium since before I was born. It is amazing that this plant can survive for so long. Since late 80's, I took over taking care of all her plants in my kampung and managed to keep some of her favorite ones alive until to this day.





My Kedah Gardenia (Gardenia Carinata Wallich) is also flowering.(Right Photo)I have been looking for this Gardenia since I first saw it in Hawaii quite many years ago. And a few months ago I saw it sold by a nursery near my house at Kinrara.



I have been keeping this Tiger Orchid (Grammatophyllum Speciosum) for more than 10 years. I hope someday it will flower for me. Seems like it will take another "forever" to flower though. Flower or not, I love it anyway as it has a sentimental value to me. My older sister Kak Nie used to work as a clerk at a Sawmill in Gemas, Negeri Sembilan. I told my sister to tell the truck drivers that brought back all the logs back to the sawmill to collect the wild orchids for me and they did. They brought back the Tiger Orchid and other wild orchids for me.


My Red Hibiscus and Bougainvillea are flowering nicely ever since I put the new organic fertilizer on them. Behind the Red Hibiscus is 2 pots of flowering Bamboo Orchid (Arundina Graminifolia).

Sultan My Son

A year after I adopted Chomel from the Hawaiian Humane Society, I decided to adopt Sultan on 4th December 1998. He's a Snowshoe Breed. Sultan is such an adorable and intelligent cat. He has striking blue eyes, beautiful brownish shade of fur and cute white socks on his 4 feet.

A lot of people that have seen Sultan would say that Sultan is quite a huge size cat compared to the normal Tabby. Sultan is such a smart cat and snowshoe breed are known for being easily trained. Sultan would try to reach a door knob whenever he is trapped in a room. I suppose he has been watching me doing it. But of course he doesn't know how to turn the knob though.

Sultan can be very shy to strangers and doesn't like too many changes. But whatever I do to him or take him around, as long as I am there, he'll listen and obey me. Sultan is so loyal and loving cat. He requires quite an amount of attention from me though. Sometimes if I ignore him, he'll get mad and scream at me. He can make such a loud pitchy noise. To the point that I had no choice but to attend to him before my neighbors get annoyed.

I keep all my cats at my office as I have huge space for them to live in the kitchen area and back of the kitchen is a confine open air area with high wall. I can be with my cats at least 5 days a week at the office rather than keeping them at home and only get to see them at night.

Below are the portraits of Sultan when I took him back home for a few days for shower, manicure and pedicure a few weeks ago.

Sultan likes to pose for my camera. For some reason he doesn't mind me taking his photos. He will start doing his weird poses for my photo shoots.





Sultan is eating some Durian while Cotton is watching him. Durian is his favorite fruit. Sultan will instantly knows that I brought Durian home and start asking for some.

Sultan eating with the rest of the family. From left to right... Snow(White Persian), Sultan, Chomel and Cotton, watching me taking the photo.

Sultan sleeping right next to me while Chomel(Left) and Cotton (Right) jealous of him and trying to get my attention too.

Chomel My Loving Cat

Chomel was born in June 1997. I Adopted Chomel from the Hawaiian Humane Society in December 1997. Chomel is just a normal Tabby Cat. She was the first cat I adopted and I named her Chomel because she was so cute and adorable the first time I saw her. And Chomel is a Malaysian word for Cute.

Now Chomel is already 12 years old or an equivalent of a 64 years old human.

Chomel is a very independent Cat. She's seldom making any noise or scream for attention. Whenever she's real hungry, she will come to me and rub her face. Otherwise she will just go about do her thing catching insects or just sleep the whole day.

I shampoo Chomel 2 days ago to clean her up and get rid of her flea problems. And now she's all happy and smells like a petunia. Below is the portraits of Chomel.