Wednesday, June 16, 2010

My Gym Trend Lately

I did not go to the gym for the whole month last month. It’s not that I cannot go actually I was kind of turned off to go to that XYZ Gym at KL. I lied to my friends when they ask me why I didn’t go to the gym. The real truth is I simply got bored of that place and the people that I see in that gym all the times. Whether I know them personally or strangers, pretty much I was already sick to see all their faces and literally just suck the energy out of my body.

I am kind of weird! I know from the very beginning that I do not like to make friends with the gym people or have any kind of friendship on a personal level with any of them. But I ended up having known a bunch of them anyway the way I expected. They became my friends and complicate my life. Really!

Pretty much when I am in the gym, I don’t socialize or even look at other people. I just don’t like for them to look at me either when I am forcing myself to push for each weight lifting or see my face suffer trying to push my own limits. The only people that I like to interact on a very minimal level are the staff and the Personal Trainers. That’s all actually!

It’s not that I am a stuck up person or anything like that. I just don’t see the need to be extra friendly to some eager-gediks-person and trap myself into making friends with someone I don’t really care just for the sake of being nice. I don’t want to be pretentious or lie to anyone. I really do not want to be friendly to anyone.

Call me the ugly duckling or the black sheep of the bunch for all I care. I have seen some of these gedik boys/girls making friends and how they carry themselves in the gym really want to make me vomit. Do you really need to wear such short hot pants, the kind that you would mistakenly think that they were going to the swimming pool and then doing some kind of a weird cat walking around the gym and make these cute smiles to strangers? Yuck! Despicable OK!

I suppose to these Gedik boys/girls the gym is their social club. The club that charge monthly fees, plays loud club music, offer free sodas with huge dance studios lead by Mother Hen that Gedik the most among all teaching everyone how to shake their humps. And it is also a courtyard of dream where they could catch someone or to show off their six packs or play the winking eyes games with fellow pathetic souls and find out who wins.

So, I stop going to that XYZ Gym at KL for a while until I forget all the Gedik Faces in there and for the time being I am going to all the other XYZ Gyms around KL such as Puchong, Damansara, PJ and Cheras. I am rotating my gym location on weekly basis. So far I like the gym at PJ the most, very spacious, clean and well lit.

I feel so free this way and I am not bothered by all these people so much anymore! However I don’t mind to be bothered by “Sharona” at the counter. She’s the only professional person I don’t mind putting up with. She’s so cool!

P/S: Definition of GEDIK (Pronounce like Gew-dick) This definition is taken from

A Malay word that describes someone(usually a girl or a gay boy) who acts in a slutty way but not to the extreme, it's kinda like a 'persuasive but cute' manner, where the 'cute' part is usually not from the heart. just check the e.g.

Boy : Hey, leave my noodles alone on that table!
Girl : Aww... can't I just have a little?~ pleaasee....
Boy : A simple "no, u can't"
Girl : aww pweaase~ pwettie pweaasee~ (puts finger on her lips and nods a little while staring straight to the boy's face)
Boy : Omg, u r sooo gedik

There Are Times. . . . . . . .

There are times when I get so emotional I just cried my heart out alone in my room to let go of my wretchedness. They were many times when I cried so many tears in front of my cat Sultan, the only one truly understands me. He would sit beside me and showed me how much he cared and how much he wished he could say words of comfort for me. He stayed there right in front of me, stared at me with his big blue eyes without a blink.

There are times when I don’t have tears to cry anymore, I started to pour my heart out on a piece of paper. Sometimes after such sadness or pain struck my heart, writing consoles me and made me feel more contented. I know that my closest friends were wondering why sometimes I acted so bizarrely and became such irate little soul. Anyone would have understood more of me if they read what I write all the times.

There are times that I may be looked so strong and independent on the outside. But, on the inside I am all sensitive and mushy. I acted with such pride and confident and fool all the people that I love into thinking that I am good enough. I go astray with my direction in life and try to compensate the tragedy I had with awful behavior and harsh remarks to my own best friends. But I know that this is a wrong thing to act on and unwise judgment.

There are times when I just cannot do anything anymore but to let go. Nothing I can do to people out there with agenda to control or to manipulate me. I cannot push, tell, explain, advise or make them understands of my simple needs. They just go about pretending that they are with me when they are absent and careless about how I feel. They just want what they wish for or believe what they see when they neither open their eyes nor their heart.

There are times I wish for simple things in life and not the stars in the night sky to light my world. There are times I wish for you to just listen to what I say and feel what I feel and see me shed tears. There are times I wish for many things in return you give me conflicting.

There are many times things are just inexhaustible when I want it to stop.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

My Funny Friend Named Yan

This afternoon I received news from my good friend Yan that he's leaving for Hong Kong for good at the end of this month. He just got a job offer from one of the firms there. He tried to make things work for himself here in KL but the economy just too bad for him. When he told me he's leaving, suddenly I felt very sad and emotional that I am loosing one of my good, smart, matured and funny friends like Yan.

Among all of my friends, Yan is so much different. Even when he goes through tough times in life, he wouldn’t show any anger, frustrations or disappointment towards life. He has always been so positive and never stops to try new things and smiles like nothing ever hurt him. And the best part about Yan is he is the only one of my friends that can listen to my jokes and get it instantly. And he could remember so many jokes and tell me about it too. He is so much fun and smart!

Although we don’t get to spend time together so often, we keep in contact all the times through Facebook and telephone. I wish I could have spent more times with him though. I knew that he wanted to watch movies with me many times but I always end up with someone else in the theater. I felt like I have neglected him a little bit. It made me feel sadder that I could do this to my own dear friend.

I don't have many good friends but the one that I have are very exclusive and special. They are always around and supportive. Yup! We talked about each other behind our backs and discuss on things about each other. But hey....that's what makes us all special friends. We don't mean any harm or try to hurt one another. We just talk to each other and lend our shoulder to cry on and ears to listen to their problems or dissatisfaction. By the end of the day they are all used to improve our quality of friendship. That's all!

But one friend goes, there’ll be another coming. Is that true? Yes! That is true but no one holds a candle to Yan. I will tremendously miss his kind words, smart advices and warm company among other good things he posses. And I am sure he would want me to mention about his charming good looks as well.

New people don't mean that they are good but it means new things to discover and new sets of headache. And from what I have had for the past 10 years, not many 20-something friends out there who are willing to grow old together. Sometimes they are just too young to be matured. What came out from their mouth and seen through their actions are two different things. Too Bad! They don't know how to get rid of their anger or hate or ego for the sake of friendship. But they know that they are still young and they can go through so many friendship after getting rid of us before they decided to stick to a few of them for a long time.

Do they really know the meaning of friendship? Are they willing to forgive a friend and move on with the friendship like nothing happen? Things happened for a reason. It is an unwritten guideline of friendship for future reference. It’s the dos and don’ts of our very own friendship. Over the years, you’ll understand better of your friends and learn which are best to preserve the friendship.

To Yan, thank you for all your kind words of advice and always been there for me with no conditions applied. I bid you farewell and the best of luck in your career. I will tremendously miss you and we shall just keep in contact through Facebook, emails and telephone until we meet again someday.

Take care of yourself my friend.