Wednesday, June 16, 2010

There Are Times. . . . . . . .

There are times when I get so emotional I just cried my heart out alone in my room to let go of my wretchedness. They were many times when I cried so many tears in front of my cat Sultan, the only one truly understands me. He would sit beside me and showed me how much he cared and how much he wished he could say words of comfort for me. He stayed there right in front of me, stared at me with his big blue eyes without a blink.

There are times when I don’t have tears to cry anymore, I started to pour my heart out on a piece of paper. Sometimes after such sadness or pain struck my heart, writing consoles me and made me feel more contented. I know that my closest friends were wondering why sometimes I acted so bizarrely and became such irate little soul. Anyone would have understood more of me if they read what I write all the times.

There are times that I may be looked so strong and independent on the outside. But, on the inside I am all sensitive and mushy. I acted with such pride and confident and fool all the people that I love into thinking that I am good enough. I go astray with my direction in life and try to compensate the tragedy I had with awful behavior and harsh remarks to my own best friends. But I know that this is a wrong thing to act on and unwise judgment.

There are times when I just cannot do anything anymore but to let go. Nothing I can do to people out there with agenda to control or to manipulate me. I cannot push, tell, explain, advise or make them understands of my simple needs. They just go about pretending that they are with me when they are absent and careless about how I feel. They just want what they wish for or believe what they see when they neither open their eyes nor their heart.

There are times I wish for simple things in life and not the stars in the night sky to light my world. There are times I wish for you to just listen to what I say and feel what I feel and see me shed tears. There are times I wish for many things in return you give me conflicting.

There are many times things are just inexhaustible when I want it to stop.

1 comment:

  1. Remember Sweetheart, always FREE MIND! I'm doing that now. I feel much much better and I know you will too!

    Luv u always! muachsss....