Monday, January 31, 2011

Letters To Juliet VS Leap Year

I had the pleasure to watch these two movies on DVD recently; Letters To Juliet & Leap Year. It was quite fun actually! I have always enjoy comedy romantic movies among all the other genres out there.

These two movies made me laughed and made me wanna look for love or renew my love. Just like many other movies in Hollywood, the stories are very much similar but the character and the other parts are all different.

In this case, both movies plots are about an engaged pretty American girl who lives in New York and thought that their American fiance is the only love of her life until they end-up in Italy (Letters To juliet) or Wales (Leap Year).

American or specifically New Yorkers always thought that they are all that and the rest of the world are crap kind of stuff until they are actually crawl out from under the rock (USA) and realized there are other countries besides USA and there are so many better looking people than Americans out there. Duhhhhh!!!!

So in Letters To Juliet, Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) dumped his faux Italian New Yorker fiance who is rich and own an italian restaurant in New York over a handsome but foul mouth rude British who is less interesting but at least gave her more attention than her stupid American fiance whose name I didn't even realized through out the damn movie. It's amazing that a girl would go so far across the Atlantic ocean to find a man that can give attention to her over a security in life living in New York.

And in Leap Year, Anna(Amy Adams) dumped his neat dandy good looking and rich fiance Dr. Jeremy (Adam Scott) who is boring and too predictable and non-romantic over a handsome "bad-boy" bar owner named Declan (Matthew Goode) who is poor, messy and was very rude to a stupid lost American girl such as herself. Declan turned out to be the one she wanted when she realized that Declan will definitely rescue her first if their house is on fire. What T F! Yup! That was her last trick question to Dr Jeremy when he was busy collecting his cameras, laptops and mobile phones among other things and forgot to pick her when she ring the fire alarm in their expensive apartment in New York.

By the end of the day a girl will end up somewhere far God knows where and follow her heart for some satisfation in their hearts and in bed as well of course. I bet you if the bed sucks, she will go back to New York in no time and she will not let herself living in poor, feeding some chickens and getting mud in her shoes in some back yard vegetables garden. I am not kidding!

And another thing is they (stupid American girl in Hollywood movies) will always pick a bad boy over a dandy rich man. Is it the manly good looks more important than the security in life? Is the interesting macho factor is more important than a boring dandy man?

Open your heart and ask that question to yourself. Sex or money? Adventure in third class or travel in style first class?

Hmmmm! I think I know what i like but I don't kiss and tell. LOL!

Friday, January 28, 2011

8 Cats And A Human Soul

Ever since Facebook became so popular to the point that almost everybody who works with a computer will start their day with updating their facebook walls first thing in the morning. To some point Facebook is almost like drinking beer for breakfast, you just get intoxicated and addicted to it too early in the day. Which is why most huge corporations or companies would block Facebook among other websites from their internet system.

To some of us, Facebook is simply genius. We got closer to the people we have lost contact with either friends or families and also making new circle of friends through it. However, I am not here to talk about Facebook but how Facebook has connected me and my course-mates of 91-93 from University ITM, Shah Alam.

It is amazing how we managed to talk to each other again without having to pay a cent for a phone bill. We have scattered around the world by now. Some of us are married, some of us are spinsters, some of us have children already, some of us has 8 cats, some of us are divorced with or without children and some of us have immigrated to Thailand, USA or Australia and become the citizen of the world. And yet we are able to communicate to each other like we are neighbors. Isn't it cool or what?

Naturally, once or twice a year there will be some gathering organized by our course-mate to catch up on each other or to share our latest development. It is amazing how some of us who used to be in the back of the class are now leading the pack with so much things to share. To be honest, some of the things can be a bit annoying but for a few hours of gathering, why not just endure with a smile for a change.

We used to claw each other back when we were in the UITM. We were so young then and had very little patient for life and didn't know any better how we would be in the future back then. Well now is the future of 18 years to be exact and a lot has changed since then. The most obvious is our look. Some of us that has stopped growing taller becoming wider instead. What was once a clean flawless cheeks is now filled with facial hair for accessories. Someone that used to be nerdy is now a fashionista or a fashionmista. Someone that used to have such foul mouth now a religious man. But there are some of us who has not changed a bit. But there are also some of us that we have never heard of anymore too. But these are all just facts of life. Everything about us will evolve with times to survive the hard living.

As for myself, I am still deciding whether or not to go to this gathering at Shah Alam tomorrow evening. Not that I don't like the pissing contest. It's just that I got no desire to share anything with anybody, friends or no-friends, no hard feelings what so ever.

Somehow I am just not excited but very complicated. Pretty much I just want to stay home and enjoy a quiet time alone if possible. But I don't think I will have any time alone or quiet for that matter. Its the life I live nowadays already void my luxury of quiet time alone.

At some complicated times, I wish there's no mobile phones or Facebooks or cats or a lover for that matter so that I could have some precious time alone for myself.

I saw a movie last night and there was a question raised by the character; why Hot-dogs are packed in 10 pieces but Hot-dog buns are a pack of eight buns? Well the answer is simple; sometimes life is not always as we planned it. So might as well accept what we have, be grateful and make the best out of it.

So that means, my wish for some time alone for myself will include my 8 cats and a human soul.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

There's A Place For Us

Thanks to Narnia - The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader movie for taking my Idol Carrie Underwood to sing their theme song There's A Place For Us.

Such a beautiful song, perfect for Carrie to sing and got her nominated for the Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song. Although she didn't win the Globe, she co-written the song with David Hodges and Hillary Lindsey.

There's a place out there for us
More than just a prayer or anything you've ever dreamed of.
So when you feel like giving up
Cause you don't fit in down here
Fear is crashing in close your eyes and take my hand, yeah

We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above
A world where you and I belong
Where faith and love will keep us strong
Exactly who we are is just enough
There's a place for us
There's a place for us.

When the water meets the sky
Where your heart is free and hope comes back to life
When these broken hands are whole again
We'll find what we've been waiting for
We were made for so much more

We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above
A world where you and I belong
Where faith and love will keep us strong
Exactly who we are is just enough
There's a place for us
There's a place for us

So hold on, hold on
There's a place for us

We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above
A world where you and I belong
Where faith and love will keep us strong
Exactly who we are is just enough
Exactly who we are is just enough
There's a place for us

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Broken Here And There!

I am so tired of broken things lately. I moved into my new place almost 6 months ago and recently I discovered, despite everything looking so new; doors, toilets, the clean wall, the white ceilings, my brand new furniture and brand new electrical appliances; it takes only a few months for all these craps to start breaking here and there and malfunctions like a Gingerbread Cookie House after an earthquake.

Not to mention the skirting on my Chevy is already broken to pieces and I still haven't found the mood to fix it yet. What's the point of fixing because the minute it looks like brand new again, some stupid guy on a motorcycle gonna hit my bumper or I am gonna hit some rock on the dirt road and damage the skirting again. And on top of that the two front tires needs to be replaced latest by next month. Darn it!

What about my Rubine Prefessional Cooker (Stove & Oven) that is Designed in Italy? I bought that last August 2010, just 6 months ago and it cost me RM 4,000 / USD 1,300 (Cheap? I think not!). Yeah! It was designed in Italy but where is it actually made from? I have no clue but probably China! That's where everything else is manufactured anyway nowadays. The main stove open burner is already dead. The gas cannot go through it unless I press the switch nob the whole time during cooking. That sucks! Now I have to fucking call that company to send their technician to fix it? Will it cost me? I sure hope not! It should be under warranty for the whole fucking year! If they insist on charging me, I will be some fucking bitch from hell and say NO to them. We'll see!

And then there's the roof of the house, leaking like a freaking shower. Whenever there's a thunder storm like a monsoon here at Taman Puncak Jalil, there's also some quick shower on several spots in my ceiling. Not many, about 5 spots only. And 1 leak on the roof is already too many! I wonder what is so fucking wrong with TALAM CORPORATION BERHAD that they have to cut corners and used substandard building materials when they build housings and buildings?

And recently I was told, whenever these fuckers build new housing areas or new apartments, only a few of the local banks willing to be the loan provider. The rest all already black listed TALAM for housing loans. That is a serious shit isn't it? Unless we buy the property from the owner and not directly from TALAM Corporation. How can our government let them slide like a fucking snake?

When I looked at the 1'X 1' tiles on my upper floor, I realized that the building itself is not even square. On one side of the room the tiles have to be cut at an angle or slanting. What kind of a bull shit is this? They can't even built a house straight or in an exact square? Isn't that suppose to be a very basic design to get it straight and square?

And then there are other shits coming along like the door knobs on the doors are all shits and need to be replaced again. The lock on the grill door already showing signs of aging and will be jammed anytime soon. And the main electrical switch keeps tripping off during heavy rain and thunder storms. And the list just go on and on. Will there be any break for me? I guest not!

Maintaining things are so costly nowadays and to fix everything that's considerably new is another story. I feel so tired of broken things around me. And those I mentioned above are not even half of all the broken shits.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Looking Better Today!

Finally I got a haircut at 8.45pm last night and what a transformation. From a haggard and messy looking dude to a clean neat gentleman (Masuk bakul angkat sendiri). It is true what people say that when we look good on the outside, ie fit & healthy, well dressed, less fat, etc; we will instantly feel better on the inside as well.

Today I feel great and a little bit better than yesterday after being called fat for so many times. I suspect it wasn't so much of being fat that people started calling me names. It was my messy unmanageable look that caught some bad attention from people and thus the bad label was thrown at me.

My first haircut 5 days after my 39th birthday. Not too shabby ehhh!

Thank God! I realized the power of looking good can certainly change people's opinion towards you and make you feel much happier. People love people who loves themselves! And that is so true!

Kudos to me!!!!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Too Tired & Fat! Fat?

Being tired and fat are two different things. But when these two things come to me side by side, there is something wrong with me, right? And also we often mistakenly describe the difference between tired and lazy. Laziness can be the caused of tiredness in someone and laziness could be the very child that conceived by being fat too. So whatever, I need to get the definition correct later.

But today is one of those days that I felt really mentally tired. Tired? I think it was lazy and unmotivated to live is more like it. I felt Lazy like a fat person. I am not fat or obese for that matter. But I was hit with the word fat many times today. I have been neglecting my exercise for so long. I used to be in the gym at least 3 times a week but after a long break since September until November 2010, I only go to the gym once a week or pretty much every Saturday as Rezal's guest over the weekend at Fitness First Gym.

I don't think I am that FAT. I am fatter than I used to be (a little only! 3% more fat? Denial?) but today, more than ever, everyone I met at Kamdar said I am fat. Can't they be a little bit stingy on the usage of the word "fat" on someone? These "fatter" words flying at me like bullets. Imagine movie The Matrix when Keanu Reeves was bending backwards (mind you!) to avoid flying bullets hitting him? Only this time that bullet was "fat" and I wished I could bend over backwards like Keanu. Instead every bullet hit me in the face just like when someone slap you on the fucking face.

Urrrkkhhh!!! I hate being called fat! I am not angry at those people who called me fat. They just observed and shot their bullets at me. That's all! I am more angry at myself for getting fat and didn't notice it when I look in the mirror every day. Can anyone give me a break? I am still tired from my last Saturday exercise at the gym. How can I still be growing fat in my belly and make cushiony cheeks at the same time?

So I made up my mind that in February I will go back to the gym on regular basis and torture myself until I can barely walk home. Ohhh! Did I mention that I also hate to work my ass off so hard so that I can avoid to be called fat? I have to straighten up my motivation aka "nawaitu" now. A little confused on that!

To be honest I would rather just stay in my living room and avoid eye contact with humans at all cost. Unless my cats can now talk like a freakin' Cockatoo Bird, then I will avoid them too. Sort of like a close call between on the verge of getting mental or becoming the "cat lady" (very fat, can barely walk, old, messy and smelly lady that lives alone with 10 to 50 cats in her house and she never goes out of the house except to get a mail. Even the groceries are being delivered to her doors.)

Fuck!! What is wrong with me? What is my problem? I am rebelling against fat and people but still don't know what's bugging my mind. I need to be alone cause I am starting to hate a lot of things!

I am so uncool now!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Money Value Overrulled Friends And Families

Well it happened about 5 months ago at Seng Heng Electrical Store at Puchong. I was shopping for some electrical appliances for my new place and Kamizi was to help me with the payment using his credit card. With his credit cards I get to pay installments for at least 6 months and to a maximum of 30 months.

Naturally, when the credit is rather large shopping with the money we don't own makes its much more fun until the bills are presented every month for payments. It will start to pinch little by little. But I am so grateful with Kamizi's help to use his credit cards to pay for my things. We trust each other that's the thing. And I will make sure I keep it that way and do my best to make payments to his credit cards every month on time as per agreement.

So, Kamizi was also at the same time looking for a camera for his own because he was planning for a holiday with his parents to Beijing. When he looked at the prices of all the handy small Digital cameras was quite expensive and not much cheaper than my DSLR Canon EOS 1000D. So I jumped into this opportunity and offered him to buy my camera so I could upgrade my Canon to EOS 500D that has a video function and much more.

The thing about Kamizi that I always mistaken is that he is very calculative about spending his money. It doesn't matter to his best friend or to his mother. He will put value for money over things much more importantly and not over emotion or love for someone that you care about. At least a lot lower than I would ever go that's for sure!

So he started to nickle and dime me for my EOS 1000D and after a long time "arguing" on what was the reasonable value for my EOS 1000D, he finally agreed to pay RM300 for my good camera and put my friendship value on a much lower value over money. I on the other hand willingly let go my Canon EOS 1000D for almost free because I was grateful for his help with his credit card payment and for my love and appreciation over our friendship.

Then I bought myself a new Canon EOS 500D for over RM 2000.00. It was rather risky of me to do this but I couldn't resist the temptation of owning a new camera. I was happy and Kamizi got a digital camera for so damn cheap.

And yesterday, at my house during my lunch party, Abang Din opened his big mouth and told me that Kamizi sold that EOS 1000D to his brother for RM 800.00 and gained RM 500.00 profit on it.

At that point I realized where I belong in Kamizi's world of calculative "Kaching". I wonder which is worse? The fact that he nickle and dime me for that great camera over my good heart on our long time friendship; or he scammed his own brother by selling that camera with RM 500.00 profit over it?

He knew he was guilty over these whole thing and was laughing with full guilt on his face as I saw it but to be honest, I don't think he's the kind of person that really cares what is the value of love, friendship or compassion when he has to squeeze his pocket to pay for it. Money is definitely will overrule his friends or his family.

I was sad, devastated and felt cheated over my own best friend and I am sure this will happen again in the future knowing how easy and gullible I am over things or as Kamizi always said so eloquently about me that I am an easily pleased person. But I will always play by my rule and stick to what I believe in: love and friendship over money.

And for what I see, people who has the same principle like myself we will always have so much debts everywhere and will never get rich. We'll have just enough to go by every month. And "smart" people like Kamizi will always have lots of cash in the bank for back up and live in fear for not having money around rather than worrying about not having his best friends or his families around.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

My Birthday Last Night & The Gift.

Over the top birthday gift from Rezal. The exact Kitchen Aid Mixer that I have been wanting and he got it for me. I was surprised? Yes! Am I grateful of his gift? Yes! Am I feeling uneasy about getting such an expensive about RM 2,300.00/USD 770 mind you? Yes! I am afraid to accept such an expensive things from him especially he could have spent it better for himself instead of for me.

I can find my own ways to own this mixer someday, in fact if I want to buy it now also I could just go and buy. But, I don't feel like doing it now because I am already spending tons of my cash out to the drain to maintain such a decent lifestyles, which happens to be slightly more than average and he is in this picture as well, washing his hand and living it with me.

So I am kind of 50/50 on this matter. I have offered to pay half of what he paid because I don't see why he has to buy something that I really want according to his taste of color anyway. Black? OK lah! Given that the retailer has no stocks of color, hence I could buy it in the future when they have the right color I love, Banana Yellow, Red or Baby Blue or the best is Silver. Anyway, in this matter the stupid retailer didn't have the color I like.

Owning this Kitchen Aid Mixer is something that I really been wanting to have and I want to buy it for myself and I don't want to owe someone for giving it to me. I do not like the word "you owe me bitch!" And on his birthday in June I have to crank my pocket on buying something of similar value. To me spending about RM 1000 per gift is really lavish and extravagant already. It's just a matter of being creative to find the perfect gift.

And as time goes by, usually the gift to someone gets more meaningful each time as we know more about that person. In my best friends case, we are tired of gifts already. At our age now almost reaching 40, we just want to buy things on our own and reward ourselves with things we really love and furthermore is the companionship that matter and not the material stuff anymore.

A gift must be something practical that a person need but at the same time thoughtful and unexpected. For example, a tote bag/just any nice bag, a pair of sport shoes/working shoes, a watch, a set of beauty product, perfumes, a mobile phone, a bracelet or a nice necklace (not diamonds of course) and or a tour somewhere nice for the weekend would hit the spot and will be kept as a wonderful memory in the photo album.

I am not being difficult by having stupid list of stuff that I need or someone has to be sacked away out the door. No! No! After living for 39 years now, more than ever I realized how I really understand myself and what I like and I don't like. Not a list but just some things that I do and don't do.

I just felt that when Rezal presented me with that expensive Kitchen Aid mixer last night was like a beauty queen being trapped by her boy friend and proposed to her on stage in the middle of the pageant that she just won. That proposal put her in the spot and she was not ready to accept that ring yet. I felt the exact same way! I almost ask him, "are you sure?" as I was sure not!

I need to get rid of my unacceptable feelings of this gifts as Rezal also has the tendency to "ungkit" the value of money he had invested over certain things in the past. This is not something I made up, it has happened before numerous times. But every time he was jealous of me giving some nice gifts to someone, he forgot that I spent more on him. I did the math! I am no bimbo! It's just that this time, this kitchen aid mixer is too damn expensive and I didn't expect him to go this far when his family needs more money than I. This will be a main point with him at some point in the future for debate of who spent more and shit. I just really hate being in this kind of calculative fighting.

I could return it back to him and break his heart. Or he can accept my offer and let me pay half of the value and make me feel happier. Or I could just eat my own self precaution protective shit over my untarnished ego and hoping that he will not "ungkit" how much he had spent on me in the near future.

At my age now, here I go again, I just don't need all the shits that can give me mental depression or heart attack. That's all! But, I really do love the Kitchen Aid Mixer and appreciate how Rezal really try so hard to give the perfect birthday present to me. However the many circumstances that might shock me or haunts me in the future, I thank you very much!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I Hate My Birthday!!!!!

There's definitely something is "slightly" wrong with me. Slightly? The thing is I hate my own birthday since this past 4 years. I used to throw my own birthday parties and invite my friends to enjoy for barbecue and good food. Lately all I want to do is just to avoid any contact with friends who have the tendency to "surprise" me with a birthday cake or something.

I guess I don't like the feeling of having owed someone a gift or a birthday "surprise" when it comes to their turn next time. On the other hand, I am not too sure if that is the reason of me feeling like shit.

I really felt like celebrating my birthday all alone and quiet this year. How can I stage my own disappearance when I don't have any solid plan to follow? Furthermore I might hurt somebody's feeling for "running' away from them when they probably already "cooking" up some plan for me.

Thinking about tomorrow already put me in a sluggish mood. I wish I am away somewhere far and by myself now and most of all away from my current real life PROBLEMS.

I want my 20's again. Not that I was younger but because I had no serious problems then. Problems as in work & business related and not health. I was healthy then and I am still healthy now except for a few minor glitches such as weaker right knee and bigger tummy. Ohhh and also wider face diameter and a lot lesser hair too.

I just want to be away, away from my own life and get a new identity and live as a different person in some European Countries or America for that matter. Maybe then I will learn to appreciate more of what I have now. Is there anything worth appreciating?

One thing for sure my problems right now already overwhelmed my happy things. Fuck it all!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Priority & Dilemma Among Friends

Recently in conjunction to AJL2010, Kamizi suggested that we do a gathering to watch the annual competition on TV3 at Annuar’s NEW almost a million ringgit worth of condo. The reason they wanted to do it there was because he has a 50” Plasma TV. I object to this idea immediately. First of all it’s a singing competition and Annuar has no stereo system hook up to his TV so I prefer to just watching AJL at my own living room. My 42” Panasonic LCD TV is big enough to count pimples on somebody’s face and nothing beats that Harmon Kardon Surround Sound either.

Then suddenly they realized the importance of having a good Surround Sounds to watch this competition. So Kamizi said he will come to my house with Din. Since only the two of them coming so I said OK.

A week before AJL, Kamizi told me that he invited 5 others on my behalf to come without my prior approval. At first I was kind of reluctant but immediately I felt that it would be fun to watch AJL in a group like this. It will be filled with comments, curses, arguments and laughter. It would be so much fun!

So I decided to invite Isaac as well since I have not spent some quality time with him since he got engaged to Linda last November. Without thinking of any consequences I called him. As usual when I spoke to Isaac he did not say yes to my invitation yet. Being himself, as predictable as before, he will be busy with weddings over the weekend and probably some other prior engagements with his new BFF or some plans with Linda and or deciding which one is more beneficial for him to attend . So I let him decide whether he wanted to come or not. No solid commitment from him which it doesn’t really matter or change anything.

But, when Rezal knew that Isaac might be coming he immediately said that he will leave the house if Isaac comes. Knowing the history of these two and it was entirely Rezal’s faults on the feud between them; it was rather kind of my fault not to consult with Rezal upon inviting Isaac at this time though. After all Rezal does live with me.

There’s no point talking about the past anymore and to me let bygone be bygone. It’s water under the bridge. Let it go and do not burn the bridge.

Unfortunately, some people still hold on to their grudge and have the nerve to tell my face their demand and smear my good intention. Since one of us has to be the grown up here and become the bad guy eliminating some innocent friend, I had no other choice but to SMS Isaac and told him not to come due to some “complicated” reasons. After all, Issac still has not yet confirmed on his attendance anyway.

Isaac being himself, immediately replied to my SMS and told how shitty he felt and asked me to delete his number and very emotional about it. For whatever it's worth I didn't mean it to hurt but I have no choice but to choose. Either way I had to decide for better or for worse and deal with it. After all life is a series of good and bad choices but it all come out differently when you look at life on a different angle each time.

I have known Isaac for a long time and for these so many years, some mutual friends and I are all agree that Isaac is a bit an emotional person and he always has a very “busy” schedule with his new friends instead of maintaining his long time friends like me. When he’s happy and meeting all his other friends or has somebody “special” for the moment; we are stowed away and forgotten for a while. We are his “lonely & sad times friends” I suspect.

With all his comments on his Facebook wall, not once I felt left out by him or pushed away as a second rate friend even though when I saw him went out with some friends I know at the mall. I have always perceived him as one of my few good friends. And that’s that! Despite knowing how busy he is looking for love, exploring friendships with many people, 20 something people will always be 20 something people. They can call themselves as matured as the burning Sun but they ain’t going to be matured like us the 30’s until you are actually experiencing being 30 something. As a matter of fact, we the 30's are now reaching the 40's already.

To some point in our matured life, we have to learn to respect our friend’s decision on something without wearing a skirt. And I am sure, to some point in his life he will have to honor Linda’s request over me too. So I had to make a choice and I chose Rezal over him just like he would choose Linda over me. And if he cannot understand where I am coming from and what I am saying here, maybe someone ought to translate this into a much simpler definitions so that he will know not to be childish and emotional to others in the future.

As a friend I feel a little bit frustrated sometimes because friends or lovers will demand for what they want and will protest when denied. Sometimes they would request for some unreasonable crap that he or she already knows that it doesn’t add up to any common sense but would ask anyway, regardless.

These situations put me in such crappy dilemma and suck the joy of living out of my soul. So, I set some rules to guide me and some room for alterations. I realized when you have a priority on your actions; then you will have a point in your argument to defend yourself. Learn to respect friends and learn to let go even when it hurts because sometimes we don’t know which side we belong and all we know that we are always right. And that is not always true! And you know it too!

So going back to AJL, I cooked some dinner, traditional Spicy Fish in Tumeric Coconut Milk with lots of fresh vegetables for “Ulam” and made an Apple Crumble Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream for dessert. We watched AJL 2010 till the end and everyone was happy except the one. . . . . . .

Friday, January 7, 2011

MY Ultimate Obsession For My Birthday

Every year as I grow older and wiser and get more complicated with my life, I have bigger and more expensive desire for my birthday present. I don't need anyone to buy these for me but I want to buy them myself actually. Unfortunately, I didn't get anything for myself last year because I didn't have any extra money to buy anything. So I end up just ate the birthday cake. However this year is no different than last year, I'm still with a bacteria-sized of budget to splurge on branded goods but to actually share it with you guys what I really want for my birthday is making me feel happier. I love these three things below and I wish I can afford to get them for myself in the future.

ROLEX is my long time obsession. I have always in love with this particular one. An Oyster Perpetual Datejust, very simple and timeless classic. I absolutely adore this one to be on my wrist everyday.

Ohhhh My PRADA!!!!! I have always drool on Prada bags, Tote bags and Back Packs too. I have one sling back that I bought in Honolulu ages ago, and I lost my wallet and key holders many years ago. Too bad for me. Prada is just too damn expensive for me!

I love baking cakes and pastries and cooking is one of my ultimate passions other than my orchids and cats. This is the latest KitchenAid Mixer that I have been dreaming about. It will look so great in my kicthen. Hehehehe!

My Birthday The 19th January

So my birthday is coming up and I will be 39 years old. That is so FUCKING OLD isn't it? I hate it but nobody can escape getting old. So the most common phrase that we heard people say.. . . . ."It's just a number nothing more!" Duhhhhhhhh! and Fuck you!

I don't know why i feel so miserable and so self destruct sometimes. Do I need people to come up to me and say. . . . "Ohhhh! You poor thing my dear!" and blah blah blah!! Do I need pity from people? Do I need to feel sorry for myself? And for what? I have no fucking idea what is going on with my head lately.

The question is what do I want for my birthday and who I want to spend it with? I feel like spending my birthday ALONE this year. Frankly speaking I am planning for my dissappearance as we speak now. Should I do it? I'm still thinking though!

The three things I want for my birthday:

1. Someone to pay off all my debts to the banks. (Not in a million years, unless Bill Gates is my daddy)

2. A nice freakin watch. I will search for this watch base on my tiny bacteria-sized budget. Should i steal one because then my bacteria-sized budget won't matter anymore.

3. My friends should all get together and buy me a Kitchen Aid Mixer since they all know that I love to bake cakes, pastries, cooking food and entertaining them all the times.

What I also really need is get myself so fucking drunk, drinking as much wine and margaritas as i want and forget the fucking world. Just for a day! But I am afraid to do this anymore for a religious reason. I used to fucking passed out especially during christmas and new year in Hawaii. But that was when I was 20 something guy. I am way pass that already and very complicated nowadays.

Happy Fucking Birthday to me. In advance! Huhuhuhu!

Dwen Ujang

Thursday, January 6, 2011


I managed to register my new company last Tuesday the 4th of January 2011. So the new name for my company is . . . . .


Letter Head Sample. Still toying with the ideas and I need someone with graphic back ground to help me designs. . . . .

1. Company LOGO
2. Business card
3. Letter Head

Is there anybody out there???