Friday, May 14, 2010

What Is The Meaning Of Best Friends?

I have known my best friends Kamizi and Azam since the past 19 years. Back then when we were in the University, we were so naïve about life. But we learn to grow out of anger and frustrations against each other and learn to accept who we were. Yes we have grown to be so much different now compared to when we first met. But University kept us together without a choice to abandon one another and realized how important our friendship could be by the end of the day.

We used to hate each other so much, very competitive, secretive and above all gossiping about each other all the times. But regardless all negative sides of each other we knew somehow, subconsciously that we were meant to be together for a long time. After years of knowing and living together, we learn to let go of small little things and know which button not to be pushed.

Being an expert on each other or on your friendships with your best friends for a very long time doesn’t happen overnight. But the thing that you must always have to get the best friend like mine is, never give yourself a choice to let go. Make it like for better and for worse kind of situation. Because once you give yourself that choice, your friendship will not last! You will end up with that option and run away from your problems or disowned them as your friends.

There are so many coward angry friends out there. And these people will not have the balls to face their friends when shit happens. These friends will be more likely choose to throw away than to fix broken things. Time spends and investments on each other suddenly become meaningless when ego take control the center of their world.

To these friends out there, do not let yourself be deluded, shallow, hateful, bitter or revengeful. Forgive and forget is a noble things to do for your friends. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. There are more important things in life than to be angry at other people all the times.

I once heard a wise monk said, “You cannot fill up a cup when it’s already full.” Or did I see that in the movie 2012? Anyhow, no matter where it came from, it has a strong message behind it. Sometimes, when you are so angry you close all possible ways for your friends to come back at you. And you become self righteous and self centered. You thought you know it all! But no matter what you do, try to keep an open mind. Empty your cup and let other people pour some tea in it without spill.

As you add numbers to your age, things will definitely get more complicated but you will see things clearer and understands life better. The issues that you didn’t understand when you were 20-something will be much easier to digest when you are 30-something. That’s why people always advice us to follow the elderly advices.

And when we were young and naïve we didn’t understand our Parents problem. And they often hide things from the children anyway. Suddenly, 15 years after that the truth came out that our loving and happy parents were in fact the opposite all those years. But they managed to keep a great acting for the children’s sake. Suddenly, we found out that we have step mother and step siblings. This happens to a lot of my friends. Not one or two friends, like more than 5 of my friends.

So what happened to them when a secret so huge like this came out in the family? You learn to live with it. Why? Because no matter how much you hate the facts, your parents are still your flesh and blood. You will keep seeing them in years to come. Eventually your hate will wear out of you. So why keep so much hatred for so long and waste energy on it when you know eventually someday it will be gone?

Our flesh and blood is something that we don’t get to choose. No matter how bad things get, we still have to live with each other. This is also what happened to best friends. They have become siblings and much more.

So stop burning your bridges and look deep in yourself. Is it really worth it to cut out your friends away when you already called them your best friends? Do you know now what is the meaning of having best friends?


  1. This is a great entry of expression. I love it. Meaningful! Hope everything get well & ok always with u sweetheart!

  2. I am sure there are some people out there would disagree to what I say here. They just cannot see it the way we do yet.

    But I believe people that are in similar age as me would agree with what I say here.