Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Priority & Dilemma Among Friends

Recently in conjunction to AJL2010, Kamizi suggested that we do a gathering to watch the annual competition on TV3 at Annuar’s NEW almost a million ringgit worth of condo. The reason they wanted to do it there was because he has a 50” Plasma TV. I object to this idea immediately. First of all it’s a singing competition and Annuar has no stereo system hook up to his TV so I prefer to just watching AJL at my own living room. My 42” Panasonic LCD TV is big enough to count pimples on somebody’s face and nothing beats that Harmon Kardon Surround Sound either.

Then suddenly they realized the importance of having a good Surround Sounds to watch this competition. So Kamizi said he will come to my house with Din. Since only the two of them coming so I said OK.

A week before AJL, Kamizi told me that he invited 5 others on my behalf to come without my prior approval. At first I was kind of reluctant but immediately I felt that it would be fun to watch AJL in a group like this. It will be filled with comments, curses, arguments and laughter. It would be so much fun!

So I decided to invite Isaac as well since I have not spent some quality time with him since he got engaged to Linda last November. Without thinking of any consequences I called him. As usual when I spoke to Isaac he did not say yes to my invitation yet. Being himself, as predictable as before, he will be busy with weddings over the weekend and probably some other prior engagements with his new BFF or some plans with Linda and or deciding which one is more beneficial for him to attend . So I let him decide whether he wanted to come or not. No solid commitment from him which it doesn’t really matter or change anything.

But, when Rezal knew that Isaac might be coming he immediately said that he will leave the house if Isaac comes. Knowing the history of these two and it was entirely Rezal’s faults on the feud between them; it was rather kind of my fault not to consult with Rezal upon inviting Isaac at this time though. After all Rezal does live with me.

There’s no point talking about the past anymore and to me let bygone be bygone. It’s water under the bridge. Let it go and do not burn the bridge.

Unfortunately, some people still hold on to their grudge and have the nerve to tell my face their demand and smear my good intention. Since one of us has to be the grown up here and become the bad guy eliminating some innocent friend, I had no other choice but to SMS Isaac and told him not to come due to some “complicated” reasons. After all, Issac still has not yet confirmed on his attendance anyway.

Isaac being himself, immediately replied to my SMS and told how shitty he felt and asked me to delete his number and very emotional about it. For whatever it's worth I didn't mean it to hurt but I have no choice but to choose. Either way I had to decide for better or for worse and deal with it. After all life is a series of good and bad choices but it all come out differently when you look at life on a different angle each time.

I have known Isaac for a long time and for these so many years, some mutual friends and I are all agree that Isaac is a bit an emotional person and he always has a very “busy” schedule with his new friends instead of maintaining his long time friends like me. When he’s happy and meeting all his other friends or has somebody “special” for the moment; we are stowed away and forgotten for a while. We are his “lonely & sad times friends” I suspect.

With all his comments on his Facebook wall, not once I felt left out by him or pushed away as a second rate friend even though when I saw him went out with some friends I know at the mall. I have always perceived him as one of my few good friends. And that’s that! Despite knowing how busy he is looking for love, exploring friendships with many people, 20 something people will always be 20 something people. They can call themselves as matured as the burning Sun but they ain’t going to be matured like us the 30’s until you are actually experiencing being 30 something. As a matter of fact, we the 30's are now reaching the 40's already.

To some point in our matured life, we have to learn to respect our friend’s decision on something without wearing a skirt. And I am sure, to some point in his life he will have to honor Linda’s request over me too. So I had to make a choice and I chose Rezal over him just like he would choose Linda over me. And if he cannot understand where I am coming from and what I am saying here, maybe someone ought to translate this into a much simpler definitions so that he will know not to be childish and emotional to others in the future.

As a friend I feel a little bit frustrated sometimes because friends or lovers will demand for what they want and will protest when denied. Sometimes they would request for some unreasonable crap that he or she already knows that it doesn’t add up to any common sense but would ask anyway, regardless.

These situations put me in such crappy dilemma and suck the joy of living out of my soul. So, I set some rules to guide me and some room for alterations. I realized when you have a priority on your actions; then you will have a point in your argument to defend yourself. Learn to respect friends and learn to let go even when it hurts because sometimes we don’t know which side we belong and all we know that we are always right. And that is not always true! And you know it too!

So going back to AJL, I cooked some dinner, traditional Spicy Fish in Tumeric Coconut Milk with lots of fresh vegetables for “Ulam” and made an Apple Crumble Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream for dessert. We watched AJL 2010 till the end and everyone was happy except the one. . . . . . .

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